Shy and Retiring

The Gorse Fox received an email from a colleague who went through her Starfleet training at the same time has he did. She has recently retired, and decided it was time to update the GF on life after work (GF hadn't realised how fulfilling it must be!):

I hope you are well, this is an early Easter note, we are off to Barcelona next week and I'll be in Germany for most of April. Retirement is good fun, I have finally time to do all the things I want to do and I am really busy.
I have set up my own company because a number of people have asked whether I'd be happy to do some consultancy work for them.

A couple of days ago the postman dropped (together with a special offer for a bathtub conversion for the elderly and the saga cruise catalogue) the retirement briefing pack from Starfleet with lots of useful hints and trips such as:

• don't let yourself go,
• take pride in your appearance (well, I have since then stopped shuffling to the village shop in my slippers and I carefully remove all curlers before I greet visitors).

I did wonder though why nobody gave that advice to some of the creatures inhabiting the wilder parts of Starfleet's Research Lab ?

Take up a hobby ...... lots of useful addresses of associations which will help you to pass the time.
I have now got the address for

• the bee keepers association ,
• the caravan club,
• the lace guild,
• the National Association of Flower Arrangement Societies and
• the British Jigsaw Puzzle Library ... not to forget
• the Quilters' Guild.

My husband is looking forward to his first pair of knitted socks. I don't think I'll contact the Miniature Armoured Fighting Vehicles Association which provides advice and information on tanks, other military vehicles and equipment. Clearly, there is scope to introduce subsidised membership for these associations as part of the flexible benefits package .. especially the Jigsaw Puzzle Library for anybody who doesn't know which side is up and what they should be doing .....

There is a whole section on special needs for the elderly ..... having my electricity sockets moved to waist height will clearly be a great help once I get too frail to bend down !
But the best ..... there are two flow charts (well, you would expect a Starfleet document to have a flow chart) 'when death happens' and 'how to plan a funeral' which will come in useful when the time comes. It doesn't say anything what to do when I arrive with my roadmap at the Pearly Gates.

I am working my way through the section on questions to ask when picking a care home (can I keep my own furniture, can my husband and I stay in the same room, do we have to share the bathroom facilities with anybody else).

I have come to the conclusion that the good book has been written by a bitter and twisted manic depressive 30 year old who hates his/ her job and whose sole pleasure in life is to remind people of their mortality !

No more news ... I continue to enjoy the use of my own teeth, kneecaps and hip joints and I am off now to drink my cocoa to induce my next nap (another useful hint from the briefing pack).