Insult the Electorate

The Gorse Fox read something recently that brought to the edge of despair. There was rumour that the Blessed Tony Blair (invective be upon him) was considering elevating John Prescott to the Lords as part of his resignation.

Can you think of a greater insult to the British public than that?

Let's see how could we spin it?

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for attending this Press Conference.

I'd like to start by reflecting on my last ten years as Prime Minister. In this time I have seen my government destroy the private pensions of thousands of people, persecute innocent people in the name of Human Rights, allowed all and sundry to enter your homes under any pretense, failed to fulfill my pledge to be open and transparent, watched as Civil Servants took the rap for Ministerial failures, lost control of our borders, handed our executive powers to the EU, invaded a foreign country, allowed the public sector to grow to nearly one quarter of the working population, reduced your disposable income to the lowest level since 1981, squandered billions on the NHS without improving it, created a paper chase for our police to keep them off the streets, raised over 600 additional taxes, promoted Margaret Beckett after she failed to destroy the British farming industry, removed ancient freedoms, and had the most useless, self-absorbed Deputy in the history of our Democracy.

I'm sure it comes as no surprise to you that I have this day offered Her Majesty my resignation from the post of Prime Minister. When She stopped dancing a little jig and singing "Things can only get Better", she graciously accepted.

As a final act, before I am transfigured, I wish to appoint my trusty Deputy, John Prescott to the House of Lords; he will be known as Lord Prescott the Useless and have the Party's Sleaze Portfolio in the upper House.

Thank you. I will not be taking questions"

That's better. Felt like a bit of a rant!

Care to write your own version...