Your call is in important to us...

Gorse Fox thought he'd let the credit card company know that he's going abroad for a few days. It saves any hassle when the card is used in foreign climes.

So he dialled the 0870 number

"Please select from the following options

1. Report your card stolen
2. General enquiries
3. etc
4. etc"
   

Gorse Fox hates these menu driven telephone systems... but has to play the game
2

"Thankyou your call is important to us, please select enter your card number". Here we go

1234 5678 9123 4567

"For security we will ask you a few questions:"

"How many people drowned on the Titanic". 0, they drowned in the sea. (Well that may not have been the exact question they asked).

"Please enter their social security numbers". and again GF responded. (Again, that may not have been the exact question)

"Thankyou, please wait while we retrieve your balance". Gorse Fox doesn't want to know his balance. Just put him through.

"Your balance is £xxx.xx". Yes, GF knows.

"Now, please select from the following options"

1. To receive details of your most recent transaction
2. Any other general enquiry
   

Ah, that must be the one. GF presses 2

"Thankyou your call is important to us, please select enter your card number". Hold, on .
GF checks the calendar. No this isn't Groundhog day

He decides to ignore the menu and to wait for a human. Seven minutes and thirty seconds later...

"Hello, my name is Will. For security can you tell me your card nu..."

Gorse Fox cut in, rattled off his card number, his date of birth, his O-level grades, his A-level grades, his car registration numbers (going back to 1970), his shoe size, his PC's serial number, his mobile phone number, and his personnel number within Starfleet.

He explained the reason for the call... and Will said "Thankyou"

GF HATES computer aided telephony, and call centres with menu systems written as addenda to "The Never-Ending Story"

Tags: Call Centres