Howdy Pardiner, II

The Gorse Fox Caesar suffered several indignities throughout the evening. There was no couch upon which to recline while eating; nobody made any attempt to speak Latin (despite most of his ageing cousins being contemporary with the Roman Conquest); the Vestal Virgins must have been stuck on the motorway (because they never arrived); and one cousin greeted Caesar with the words "Your face has filled out". Given that it has been over 30 years since we had met, that did seem cruel!

At one point Caesar was approached by a man in white (an angel? Brutus? Graham Norton?) and asked "Are you Caligula?". Gorse Fox explained he'd "never been very good with horses... I am Caesar". Quick as anything, White Suit responded "You've got too much hair for Caesar". This took the Gorse Fox aback... it is indeed rare nowadays for anyone to imply anything other than loss when referring to his thinning thatch... "Caesar in his younger days" replied GF, and the White Suit wandered away happy. Gorse Fox checked the plastic knives. They were still on the table, not stuck in his back... White Suit had not been Brutus in disguise.

At this point Gorse Fox would point out that it had become clear to him why togas had gone out of fashion in the British Isles - the constant Devon rain, and the breeze up the valley effectively lowered the body temperature, but resorting to the warm leather jacket that awaited him in the car would be out of character - so he threw another slave on the fire.

[File under: Party]