Reflections on English Football

The Gorse Fox has the following reflections on English Football:

1. If you retain possession of the ball, the oponents cannot score
2. If you play long-balls, you will give away possession, increasing the liklihood of the oponent scoring (see 1, above)
3. At the opponent's end of the pitch is area 8 feet high, and 8 yards wide. A net hangs on the back of it. The objective is to penetrate this area with the ball. The area is often referred to as a "goal". (Gorse Fox would explain, that there seems to have been some confusion and consequently our players seem to have been aiming at the other part of the opponent's end).
4. Assume that most "latin" teams will cheat, dive, and try to wind you up:


• When they tackle you, then help you up - put your arms around them and kiss them.... that'll unsettle them!
• When the opponent goes down clutching his face, you can should assume that a) you might have caught his shin; b) he's a cheat; c) he's trying to get you a brightly coloured card; and d) he probably learned his craft in Argentina, Italy, or at Highbury
• Never argue with the ref, or try to "explain" - it has never worked for anyone (except Arsenal)


5. Stay on your feet in your third of the pitch - you are less likely to a) lose the ball (if you have it) or b) concede a free kick (if the opponent has it)
6. Be sure that in the last few minutes of a half there will be an onslaught
7. Assume the referee favours the other side. It may not be true, bu play accordingly.
8. If you do decide to tackle hard - make it worthwhile!!!
9. Assume that however good or bad you play, you will be pilloried by the fifth column press

Oh, yes. Given that many of these players are in the Premiership... feel free to express your true feelings on the training ground when you meet again.
[File under: World Cup, England Football]