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Friday, May 04, 2007

Clarity of Children

Old Father Time has, again, brightened up Friday with an email. This one provides some answers to Biblical questions by children. (As usual GF acknowledges the original source... whosoever that may be)

  1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis. God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.
  2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. noah's wife was Joan of Ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.
  3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
  4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.
  5. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.
  6. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments.
  7. The first commandments was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
  8. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
  9. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.
  10. David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.
  11. Solomon, one of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
  12. When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
  13. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
  14. St. John the Blacksmith dumped water on his head.
  15. Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you. he also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.
  16. The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 Decibels.
  17. The epistels were the wives of the Apostles.
  18. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
  19. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony which is another name for marraige.
  20. Christians have only one spouse. this is called monotony.

Now that your Biblical studies are complete... go forth and do unto others.

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