A Modern Christmas

Atyllah questions the traditions of Christmas. Gorse Fox felt it beholding on him to provide some clarification.



Firstly, let him point out that in these Politically Correct times it should not be called Christmas in public. Any vestige of Christian religious affiliation must be expunged, though in olden days there was a significance to calling this time of year Christmas. It was the celebration of the birth of a child who espoused love for each other, forgiveness, peace, and responsibility.



Now of course, in these enlightened times, people have realised that these concepts are ridiculous, and what we should concentrate on is greed, self-interest, arrogance, and "rights". The festival therefore has morphed into a celebration of late night shopping, excess drinking, and eating. It is a game of top trumps for the new century where the winner is he/she who

• eats the most
• drinks the most
• accumulates the most gifts (even if unwanted)
• Accumulates the most valuable gifts
• attends the most Christmas Parties
• forces their attention on the most people
• avoids getting arrested
• survives until the New Year

In this new PC Christmas we eschew traditional things like Father Christmas coming down the chimney - home security ensures that he would be arrested for breaking and entering, thus helping improve the crime clear-up statistics. Cards are sent by home computer. Turkey, Goose and Ham are a new girl band striving for a hit single... and brussel sprouts have been banned because of their impact on greenhouse gasses. Brandy butter is banned because of its contribution to obesity, and shops will close just long enough to put up the "Sale" signs.



Welcome to the 21st Century Winter Festival.









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