Just headlines

Gorse Fox was thinking about the version of the news that you get purely from headlines (i.e. not reading the story beneath):

Headline	Supposed Story
Israelis Mass on Gaza Border	Huge conversion of Israelis to Catholicism celebrated with Mass near Palestine
Sharias Prune Olive Branch	Islam turns to Gardener's World
Study Shows Parkinson's link to Pesticides	Michael quitting chat show to concentrate on his lawn.
Laser Treatment that removes fat in your lunch hour	First new item of cutlery for years. Godsend for all dieters... but does it work on the evening meal also?
Tornado seen over Dartmoor	Still can't scramble the Eurofighter, then?

[File under: Whimsy]