Victimhood

Several years ago the Gorse Fox worked with "Sherlock". Sherlock is a victim. If something is destined to happen, then it will happen to Sherlock.

Cars take particular pleasure in victimising Sherlock.

Dropping his girlfriend at Woking Station, where some alterations were being made to the car park, he reversed with a flourish out of his parking slot. With a crunch the back wheels mounted a curbstone and dropped into the trench beyond. Sherlock (dressed in his pyjamas) cajoled several passers-by to lift the back of the car back onto the road surface and then drove off.

This particular car, and Escort, was quite unreliable. He used to joke that he'd called the RAC so frequently that the RAC man would call in at his flat in the mornings out of habit.

Eventually Sherlock received a company car, a Rover. This should have put an end to the saga. Indeed it started another. Late for work one morning it transpired that his gearbox had failed. The car was taken to the local agent to be fixed, but parts had to be ordered from the factory and so the car was unavailable for several weeks.

Eager to save company money on car hire whilst the car was being fixed he phoned the company agent. The company, however, had changed agent. He the phoned the new agent's local office. Here he was told they were no longer part of that agency, but would better any price that Sherlock could get from the company. He finally got through to an official company agent and was told that there was an additional fee of £25 for delivering the car. He told them not to bother.

Sherlock rang back the local company and negotiated a good deal. He asked when they could deliver the car, and what it would be. The agent asked him to wait while he checked the yard. On his return he informed our victim that he wasn't sure, they hadn't actually got any cars at present.

Some time later Sherlock's Rover was the unfortunate victim of vandalism in a Car Park near work. (Sherlock was never the most punctual of people, consequently always arrived after the company car park was full). The rear nearside window of the car was smashed. Fortunately nothing of value was stolen. Being a late starter, Sherlock always worked late, and so he discovered this vandalism too late do anything.

He drove home with the wind whistling around him, his mind turning over the ramifications of the broken window. Arriving back home, he decided to park up against the wall to ensure that no further entry could be gained through the gaping window. Unfortunately Sherlock's rear view was somewhat impeded and as he reversed into the only gap available alongside the wall, he ran into the front of a neighbour's car. This car was was an old Triumph Herald being lovingly restored by its owner. Sherlock's car, affectionately kissed the front of the Triumph and locked onto the bumper. Sherlock realised what had happened, selected a forward gear (hopefully first) and moved forward to disengage. Unfortunately Sherlock's Rover was firmly fixed to the Triumph, and moving forward as he did, Sherlock only managed to rip the font-hinged bonnet from the car.

But computers would conspire against also (which doesn't help when you work in IT):

Sherlock bought a new computer for home. His computer had all the software he needed for both home and business use. He was, however, short of disk space. He carefully reviewed the book and ordered a new disk. The disk arrived without the screws required to mount it. Irritated he phoned the supplier. The supplier asked him what size screws were needed "It's your disk" he replied, "you tell me". After several phone calls Sherlock was getting irritated. They sent some screws, eventually. Sherlock mounted the disk and blew the power unit on his computer. The failure was serious enough that it needed to be returned to the manufacturer.

The sometimes computers and cars would gang-up on him:

Sherlock was over-committed work-wise, as he often was, and desperate to complete the preparation of his foil presentation he decided to work at home. His computer had all the requisite software and he'd get fewer disruptions. Soon after starting, his computer failed. Several days later, and as the result of many phone calls he arranged to leave work early and drive to the manufacturer to collect the repaired computer then go home, set it up and continue with his preparation. He left work at lunchtime. The following day he seemed tetchy so I asked if his preparation had been successful. Not exactly was his reply. On the way back from London, his one month old car had broken down on the M3 with a total electrical failure.

That was where he spent his evening.

That electrical failure was the start of another saga:

Sherlock had splashed out on a very nice company car. It had all of the extras. Heated rear windscreen, leather seats, air conditioning, on board computer, and electric windows. It laso had a slight electrical fault. Nothing too serious. It was just that whenever it rained, the electric windows would open themselves automatically. Gorse Fox nevwer found out what happened about that.

and there's no accounting for his sense of direction...

One time while driving back from Brussels he took the wrong road was half way to Paris before realising that he should have been in Calais by then.

Sherlock left Starfleet soon after and was last seen going round and round the M25.