C'est la vie

In a report from US travel magazine "International Living", Britain has been assessed as 37th in the list of countries offering "quality of life".
France came first.
You may gasp at being 37th (particularly when you realise that Slovenia, Panama, Bulgaria, and Urguay were all better)... but then you have to realise that the assessment was based on:

• cost of living
• culture
  
• economy
• environment
• freedom
• health
• infrastructure
• safety
• climate

Well, thinks the GF how can Britain be marked down so low?

• Cost of Living
  No probleme here... Increasing at an alarming rate (as much as 10% pa for some people, according to the ONS). Obviously healthy to be growing so fast.
  
• Culture
  Hey! We have Big Brother, Eastenders, 24 hour drinking, Jade Goody, Jonathan Ross, Jerry Springer: The Opera, Bid Up TV.
• Economy
  No problem here. Health £500Bn hole in the Chancellor's sums, but anyone can make a mistake. He's sorting it out by taking away our pensions and and ensuring that nearly all of us are liable for inheritance tax.
  
• Environment
  Beautiful countryside, rolling hills, sweeping vistas - though the government plans to build over huge tracts of green belt and try to concrete over the south-east.
  
• Freedom
  We are a free nation. But we have to allow tax assessors in to poke around houses, and will have to carry id cards and show them as if in an occupied country, and all the data the government holds on us will be shared (including our medical records). Yep, we're free.
  
• Health
  GF won't even discuss this.
  
• Infrastructure
  Hey, we have roads, and we have railways. the government doesn't want us to use the roads, and the train companies don't want us to use the trains... but the infrastructure is there.
  
• Safety
  Here we lead the world. Our Health & Safety nazis are so paranoid that we
• have firemen who cannot slide down a pole
• have firemen not allowed to climb ladders
• have teachers reprimanded for taking children out of school without a written risk assessment
• have arrested a retired civil servant for diving into the deep end of a swimming pool
• have signs saying "Beware falling pears" under a pear tree in autumn
• are cutting down yew trees in case people slip on the pavement nearby
• have banned conkers (except when wearing protective apparatus such as goggle and gloves)
  
• Climate
  We have a great climate. Never too hot, never too cold... but it does get a bit grey!
  

Mmmmm. How on earth did we get as high as 37th?