The following note was sent to GF by Old Father Time. The Gorse Fox couldn't help but reflect on its pertinence to the project prevention trolls he has been dealing with until recently.
(GF doesn't know who the original source was, but would like to acknowledge his/her perspicacity anyway)

SCIENCE UPDATE
SOURCE: RESEARCH CENTER
LOCATION: CENTER OF THE KNOWN UNIVERSE
REPORT: SCIENCE DISCOVERS NEW ELEMENT

COTKU (DC) — RESEARCHERS have just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but, instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

When catalyzed with money Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.