The Rise and Rise of the Political Classes

The Gorse Fox has been considering the recent publicity surrounding the sub-species who occupy the positions of power. His considerations took the form of a comparison.

Me	An MP
When I claim expenses I must submit receipts for the expenditure.	When I claim expenses I am trusted because I am a Gentleman
When my expenses are submitted they are verified and exceptions have to be explained and signed off by a manager.	When my expenses are submitted I hope that nobody checks them
If I submit an expenses claim fraudulently I will lose my job	If I claim expenses fraudulently I will take some stick from the media (if they find out) but my colleagues will rally round and explain that it was a simple mistake or it is a “right”.
When I go to work I have to pay for any meals or drinks that I may consume	When I go to work I get a subsidised bar and restaurants.
When I travel to my normal place of work I have to pay my travel costs	When I travel to work I am provided with first class rail travel, a car, or mileage expenses.
I would love to be able to afford a little pied a terre to reduce my commute time	The British Taxpayer provides me with a an allowance for a pied a terre so that I can attend Parliament (even though the place that I have bought is barely closer than my own home, and it only takes 25 minutes to commute). It is my “right”.
When I retire I will exist on a pension that I have spent my whole career accumulating	When I retire I will get a cracking pension, but we don't want to focus on that at this time of “credit crunch”.
When I get my pension I will pay a substantial amount of tax to help pay for the pensions of MPs, Civil Servants and to pay of the debts that these MPs have created.	When I retire I will get a cushy job as a “consultant” on a Quango or Government inquiry and get supplementary payments.
When I get my Council Tax bill over 20% of the value will go towards pension funds of local authorities – but my pension will not rise to accommodate this. So I will be paying out of my pension to pay for theirs.	Those greedy Local Authorities are milking us through Council Taxes (thank goodness I get a reduction on my second home).
When I retire I will get poorer year on year because of the continued increases in Council Tax and inflation	My pension is Index-linked. (Isn't everybody's?)
When I retire I will be eligible for a Bus pass – this will help me reduce my dependence on cars. However, there are no buses in my rural community; and I won't be allowed to use the pass for long distance travel	In order to optimise the transport network we have reduced the subsidy for rural buses.
If I want a new dining room table I must save up and buy it	I put it on expenses
If I want a new cooker, I must save up and buy it	I put it on expenses
If I want a tumble dryer	I put it on expenses
If I want a new entertainment system with two widescreen TVs, set-top boxes, and DVD players, I must save up and buy them	I put it on expenses
When my company has a bad year I do not get a pay rise.	When the economy is crashing I will award myself an inflation-busting payrise – and ensure that people in public services get their independently assessed payrises cut so that we are seen to be managing the economy and controlling public expenditure.
When I buy a house (remember when you could afford to buy houses) that exceeds the tax threshold I have to pay Stamp Duty	When I buy a house (or the taxpayer buys one for me) I put the Stamp Duty through on expenses