Gorse Fox has bought a new gadget. He likes gadgets. The intention of this gadget is to enable him to capture old VHS and Hi-8 videos onto the computer. Will let you know how it goes...

[File under: Video]

The forecast of heavy snows seems to have come to nothing. The south coast is being battered by gusty winds and heavy rain. Our concern regarding a proposed trip to Buckingham has receded, and we plan to set off soon to see the Silver Vixen's family.

[File under: Diary]

Saving time

Gorse Fox's sister and family visted for the day. It was nice to see them, and to see how well the operation on brother-in-law's hip has evidently gone.

This was a day for saving time. GF received a birthday gift from early in the year, just as GF's sister received a her birthday gift for last summer. Christmas gifts were also duly exchanged, and to save time GF's sister gave him a pad of 365 insults to cover us for the next year !

[File under: Whimsy]

James May brings us an interesting piece on Road Rage in the Telegraph (registration required), called "Mine's a pint: pistols at dawn". He advocates the only sensible way to gain satisfaction from an incident with a white van is a duel. He explains:

Duelling is now highly illegal, but as you will have dispatched a van driver, no jury is likely to convict.

He continues:

At the discretion of the wronged party, and for the full mother-he-has-killed-me-dies effect, the duel can be fought to the death. But it is acceptable to fight to "first blood", in which case once you have brought forth the crimson fluid from the van driver he is deemed to be the loser.

As GF is about to take Cousteau-cub back to Brighton, he will ensure that he places his rapier in the back of the car.

[File under: Motoring]

A quiet day in the GF's household. He did spend some time at Tesco trying to:

• Avoid foul-mannered children using the aisles as running tracks, but failing to slip on the wet surface and thus provide light relief to the multitude.
• Avoid people who had over-dosed on stupid pills during the festivities and were leaving their trolleys perpendicular to the displays
• Avoid the people who, fed up with fighting at home, had come to have a row in public
• Avoid the usual corpses who were shuffling round, blinking in the bright lights, unsure why they were there at all.
• Pick up a few groceries

[File under: Diary]

A Stroll in the Afternoon

Once Urban-cub and Sir Lancinglot had left and things settled down Gorse Fox resolved to have a stretch. The afternoon was crisp and clear. The morning's snow flurries had come to nothing. A cold North-east wind was blowing, but once wrapped up and walking it wouldn't be noticed.

GF should point out, this was not one of his "walks", this was just an afternoon stroll to stretch the muscles and get some air. Strolling first along the beach he made his way to Ferring and then headed inland to the centre of the village. Very few people were out and about, and though walking through the village streets it was as deserted as the Downs. Looping back Gorse Fox crossed Ferring Rife (where this photo was taken, looking North towards Highdown). A puff of smoke could be seen near the top left, and this quickly grew into thick dense smoke, accompanied by crackling and several small explosions. GF is not sure what was going on, but it seemed to be in the yard behind one of the nurseries... and soon the "nee-naw, nee-naw" of the fire brigrade could be heard heading for the conflagration. GF assumes everything was soon under control as the clouds of dense black smoke quickly dispersed, though the smell of burning rubber lingered in the air. 

The Gorse Fox was up and about long before it made any sense to be moving about. Several hours later the rest of the inamtes began to stir. After feeding all and sundry, Urban-cub and Sir Lancinglot packed up their bits (which included their vivarium and lizard!) and headed home.
A modicum of peace descends upon the house... along with a flurry of snow.

[File under: Diary]

It is very quiet in the GF household this moning. Cousteau-cub was up organising photos on her laptop, GF was up reading the paper, but the rest of the household remained firmly cuddled in the arms of Morpheus. The Silver Vixen muttered that she had remembered where she had hidden the mince pies... so guess that they will turn up in one of the feasts she has scheduled for today.

What puzzles the Gorse Fox is Why did she hide the mince pies? It's not as if we are addicted to them,
GF doesn't believe they are generally a target for burglary,
nor are they usually considered an investment opportunity ("I'm just laying down some mince pies to sell when I retire in order to boost my pension")
and they were not a surprise gift for the cubs.
So why hide them?

[File under: Diary]

Reflections

The Gorse Fox has had a wonderful day with the family, a constant flow of chat, and humour. GF nevery forgets how lucky he is.

The cubs hav bought him a stockman's coat. GF isn't the ideal shape for such a coat - being stocky rather that tall - but will make good use of it whilst walking on the Downs in inclement weather.

Possibly the most interesting gift, however, was a DVD made by The Bishop. He had made a documentary from his collection of photos, film, and video which related the life of GF's father, GF's and his sister's early life, and even footage from the GF & SV's wedding. All of this must have taken hours to put together and will be treasured.

I hope you all have had a Christmas as pleasant and peaceful as we have. 

GF bought the cubs laptops for Christmas. Never has a Christmas afternoon been so peaceful!

[File under: Diary]

Gorse Fox is up and about... the Turkey and the Ham are in the oven, there is a gradual stirring amongst the other inmates. GF reflects that it is a good job that Sir Lancinglot has his van with him, as it will be needed just for the removal of the 120 square miles of wrapping paper that currently decorates 8.4 metric tonnes of assorted gifts littering the living room. Soon the chaos will begin.

The Gorse Fox sincerely wishes all of you an immensely Happy Christmas and a prosperous and peaceful New Year.
God Bless you all.

[File under: Diary]

Sunset

IMG_3650
Originally uploaded by Gorse Fox.

Final moments of daylight on Christmas Eve, the sun about to drop behind the cloud which hugged the horizon.

[File under: Sunset]

Beached Boat

IMG_3648
Originally uploaded by Gorse Fox.

As the sun edged back towards the horizon this boat caught the eye. It has seen better times, and is need of some care and attention; but it create a nice silhouette!

[File under: Beach]

Winter Stroll

IMG_3647
Originally uploaded by Gorse Fox.

Gorse Fox escaped for an hour for a stroll along the beach in the winter sunshine. He was not the only one. Dozens of dogwalkers were out and about in the watery sunshine, but there was still an air of tranquility as he marched eastwards towards Worthing.

[File under: Sussex Walk]

Theory of Gender and Christmas Shopping

Cousteau-cub has now joined us for the Christmas festivities... final shopping trips completed, all is calm.

Silver Vixen was convinced today would be busy... Gorse Fox has a different view. Gorse Fox's theory of Christmas shopping is:

In general women are well organised and will have completed all of their shopping and will be at home avoiding the last minute rush. Men will have deliberately left it until today knowing that

• most women/children will be at home;


• he can hurtle round the shops at his own speed;


• he doesn't have to stop to look at things and say "ooh isn't that nice" or "Arrr, that would go well with her blouse";


• he does not have to sniff scented candles - since the introduction of a reliable electricity supply candles hold a dubious position in the household;


• the shops will only be occupied by men;


• if a friend bumps into them they can say "Must rush, still presents to get" and charge onwards without causing offence.


• empty coloured boxes - what's the point?


• the faster the shopping experience, the longer he can spend in the gadget / hi-fi / computer shop

[File under: Whimsy]

Prescott gives EU stars the same status as Union flag

Now this has got the Gorse Fox really mad: Prescott gives EU stars the same status as Union flag. Enough already!

Labour was accused of its second surrender to Brussels in a week yesterday after it emerged that the European Union's flag is effectively to be redesignated as a national symbol.

John Prescott, the Deputy Prime Minister, will unveil plans in the new year to drop restrictions on flying the flag.

To paraphrase an English King, Henry II (remember when we had country called England?) "Will no one rid me of this troublesome priest meddling political thug?"
At what point does the ODPM's destruction actually become treason?

[File under: John Prescott, EU Flag,, Treason]

Gay Freedom

Gorse Fox was born in the 1950's.

When GF was young "gay" meant happy, jolly and content. What we now consider as "gay" was illegal.

By the 1960's & 1970's "gay" behaviour was talked about in the context of famous politicians. It was still illegal, but tolerated.

In the 1980's and 1990's "gay" behaviour was legalised and openly flaunted.

In this decade "gay" relationships can be enshrined in law and any negative discussion of "gay" lifestyle is ruthlessly stamped out. As an example we have seen the latest example of the couple from Fleetwood in Lancashire being "visited" by the Stazi police for daring to suggest a display of religious pamphlets be co-located with pamphlets promoting "gay" issues.

GF believes everyone is worthy of respect, whatever their colour, their creed, their sexual orientation, dammit even the football team they support. But GF is desperatley worried about two things:

• Whether a "gay" lifestyle may complete the recent changes and become complusory!
• And whether we will ever regain the right to free speech in this country

[File under: Gay, Freedom]

Five lions found on motorway

This is one that Sally Traffic hasn't reported (yet): Five lions found on motorway. Gorse Fox has always been wary of straying over the white lions on the road, but it appears worse in Brazil.

Five lions have been found in an abandoned circus truck in the middle of a Brazilian motorway.

A police spokesman told Folha de São Paulo: "We could not believe our eyes and ears when we saw all those lions together in this abandoned truck in the middle of the road - and boy they did look hungry!

Microsoft may face daily EU fine

Gorse Fox has no truck nor sympathy with Microsoft, but this article Microsoft may face daily EU fine raises GF's hackles.

IF GF was Bill Gates he'd tell the EU to get stuffed. Starfleet has had similar problems in the past and had to reveal its systems, and the underlying intellectual capital and research that it had spent years investing in. Then of course anyone can hop on the bandwagon without any investment or hard work all in the name of competition.

Why, wonders the Gorse Fox, are pharmaceutical companies protected but not IT companies? Seems like a precedent worth arguing in court... then if the argument is lost it would force drugs companies to reduce their prices and publish their science the way Microsoft & Starfleet would have to.


[File under: Microsoft, EU]

Mentally GF is winding down for the Christmas break. Unfortunately his list of "things to do" doesn't seem to realise this and is expanding faster than he can clear items.

[File under: Diary]

Gorse Fox is back after a long day. Very interesting and stimulating day... but only for geeks, so GF will keep it to himself (much to your relief).

An observation, however, Gorse Fox has decided it should be legal to carry small doses of sleep inducing chemicals so that parents who are stupid enough to bring small children on packed commuter trains (fo a day out!!) can administer said dose to the children before they start to scream and wake up those commuters who did not need narcotics to achieve a state of suspended animation.

[File under: Diary]

This day sees the Gorse Fox heading for the great capitol of our Empire. A frisson of excitement runs through him at the thought he will be at the seat of government, the heart of our democracy.

Ooops, sorry. Not quite sure what came over the GF just then. Must have been something he ate.

[File under: Diary]

Gorse Fox loved the quote from Max Hastings in this mornings Dail Mail on the subject of John Prescott (the Odoius Deputy Prime Monster) and the education reforms:

"As far as Prescott is concerned if one child can't have it, no children can have it."

The lumbering dinosaur seems to espouse an intellectual scorched earth policy. Taking it to its logical conclusion we should:

• Dispose of our cars - not everyone has one (in fact not everyone has two jags)
• Dispose of our phones and gadgets - not everyone has one
• Dispose of our houses (oh, no he's doing that!)
• Dispose of our grasp of the English langauge - he doesn't have one
• The list goes ever on as the ODPM tries to drive us back to the stone age where people of his apparent intellect might feel adequate

Gorse Fox has a theory. This has been reinforced by a trip to the client's canteen where they were singing carols accompanied by the chef on an electric keyboard. Several observations should be made first:

• Playing a keyboard instrument is a bit like shooting a gun - if you miss the target (a key in this case) you have missed. There is no such thing as close enough on a keyboard.
• In order to make time for this recital, lunch was evidently cooked last March and has been kept warm ever since.
• The concept of cutting gravy will not catch one.
• Brussel sprouts should not be used as biological weapons.

This brings the Gorse Fox to his theory (beware, broad generalisation ahead):

Women, when young, are usually musical and in general can hold a note. Then, when women reach a certain age they turn into screetch owls. This is characterized by the fact that they a) cannot hit a note; b) cannot hear a note; c) become too confident of their own musical adequacy; and d) start to sing louder. When they reach this point, singing in public should be punishable with imprisonment or at very least an ASBO

[File under: Whimsy, Carols]

Expensive Tastes

For the girl who has everything, Ananova brings us the story of Gold-plated chocolate.

The luxury treats, each coated in 24-carat gold leaf thin enough to be edible, will hit Britain just in time for Christmas.

The manufacturer tells us:

He said: "When I first had the idea I just knew it would work - both substances are just so wonderfully sinful I knew they would fit together."

Gorse Fox would add "what about curry and beer?", equally decadent and equally matched.

Education & John Prescott

Gorse Fox sees from last night's news that the Odious Deputy Prime Minister is opposed to St Tony's proposed education reforms. GF would observe that such opposition confirms that the reforms are correct and sensible. After all, it seems the right thing to do is always the opposite of what John Prescott is promoting.

He points out that the reforms MAY disadvantage some children... GF would argue that the current system dictates against the brightest, most talented children... and continues to do so right through to University where government quotas not aptitude determine who is to get places in higher education

John Prescott espouses everything that is wrong about Labour... it is all about envy and who you can reduce everyone to the lowest level of equality... rather than how you can empower people to be the best they can be and raise everyone's standards.

Monday morning rant over.

[File under: Education, John Prescott]

Worcester Cathedral

IMG_3644
Originally uploaded by Gorse Fox.

Worcester Cathedral dominates the town with its glorious tower. This is what medieval architecture is all about.

[File under: Worcester Cathedral]

Worcester Cathedral Choir

IMG_3641
Originally uploaded by Gorse Fox.

As explained, they were prepapring for carol service. The choir glowed in expectation.
[File under: Worcester Cathedral]

Worcester Cathdral High Altar

IMG_3635
Originally uploaded by Gorse Fox.

They were preparing for a carol service later this evening. The lights and candles twinkled and high altar glowed.

[File under: Worcester Cathedral]

Buttresses of Worcester Cathedral

Buttresses of Worcester Cathedral
Originally uploaded by Gorse Fox.

Gorse Fox, carrying his precious cargo (the Silver Vixen) had an uneventful drive up to Worcester and checked into the hotel.

Then it was time to look around. The Royal Worcester Pocelain factory was the first stop... and was surprise for the sheer variety of goods that were on sale in their varios outlets. Being late afternoon it was too late to consider the museum or factory tour. They can wait for another trip.

From the factory shops we went to the Cathedral. GF loves Cathedral architecture, particularly the soaring gothic arches, buttresses and flying buttresses. Inside, despite the near zero temperatures of the winter evening, it was warm and bright, and a wonderful place to spend a few quiet minutes.

[File under: Royal Worcester, Worcester Cathedral]

The very gorgeous Silver Vixen has decided to join the Gorse Fox on his weekly trip to Worcester. We are therefore heading up scross country today... It will be nice to have a leisurely drive up, with company... and not have to go straight into work on arrival

[File under: Diary]

The Silver Vixen has a Gold Medal in faffing, and can indeed run masterclasses in the art. Today is Christmas Decorations day, when all her training and preparation come into their own. The tree, the lights, the balls, the cards, the ribbon, the tinsel, it all needs to be presented "just so". She always does a superb job... Gorse Fox looks on in wonder (and does as he's told).

[File under: Diary, Faffing]

Gorse Fox never expected to say this but "The Christmas food shopping went smoothly, and was quite good fun". He should, perhaps explain. The Silver Vixen had prepared a list, and checked it twice. She had decided what was naughty and what was nice. So heading for Tesco we arrived at about 20:00... and the place was deserted. The great unwashed were nowhere to be seen. The stupid-pill addicts were obviously locked up. Tesco was bright and airey and the Gorse Fox sung carols as he wandered the aisles (thus keeping them clear of stragglers).

We were soon home and trying to work out how 37 cubic metres of assorted food was going to fit in to a pair of 6 cubic metre fridge/freezers. We await the food fairy to turn up overnight to finish the storage of the remaining comestibles.

[File under: Christmas Food Shopping]

Well, Cousteau-cub had her 15 seconds of fame, appearing several times amongst the interviewees and marking the judges. Gorse Fox is justly proud of this, but deeply embarrassed to think that she would admit to watching "Strictly Come Dancing" on national TV. GF is off with the SV to do the Christmas food shopping (several large vehicles have been hired to carry back the goods) this evening and wonders if he should answer questions from the inevitable paparazzi, or put a paper bag over his head so as not to be recognised.

[File under: Whimsy]

Typepad goes titsup

Gorse Fox thought the blogosphere was quiet today... maybe this is why: Typepad goes titsup | The Register. Maybe blogger is cheap (well, ok, free), but most of the outages GF has experienced have been very transient.
[File under: Typepad, Blogger]

A Star is Bored

Apparently Cousteau-cub was interviewed for the TV yestarday. It was a Vox-pop in the streets of Brighton and may go out on the Richard & Judy Show today.

[File under: Diary]

It's like sitting outside the headmaster's office. Gorse Fox is considering stuffing a magazine down the back of his trousers as he sits in Starfleet Command waiting for his annual appraisal. Ceffeine is beginning to take hold and a degree of hysteria laps on the shoreline of his consciousness.

[File under: Diary]

999 Trunk call

It would appear that there has been an escape from a transport containerand an elephant is roaming the streets of St Petersburg.

There have been a number of sightings around the city but no one has tried to catch the elephant yet.

Local media say it's unclear which arm of the St Petersburg emergency services is responsible for escaped elephants.

It reminds the Gorse Fox of the old chestnut... An elephant was seen doing a ton on the M1, police advise motorists to treat it as a roundabout!
[File under: Whimsy, Elephants, St Petersburg]

Honesty in Government

Gorse Fox keeps having it drummed into him how important it is to respond to Minister's questions (PMQs) accurately and on-time. This raises several questions:

• For most PMQs, who gives a damn about the timeliness - nothing in government happens in "real time", so why bother? who cares - the MPs and the media, so what?
• As for accuracy - One of the greatest "crimes" an MP can be accused of is that of "misleading the House".

Gorse Fox was just wondering why MPs can'y mislead each other... but have turned the art of misleading the public into a national sport? Surely it should be a greater crime to exercise dishonesty in the face of your employer?

[File under: Whimsy, Misleading Parliament]

The Silver Vixen has gone off to have a Christmas lunch with other members of her coven. GF can just imagine some poor local pub with its car park full of broomsticks, 4WD broomsticks, and zimmer-sticks whilst inside there is the ribald laughter of the coven overdosed on strong tea and shaking out their blue-rinses as they chase the waiters round the room. Doesn't really bare thinking about !

[File under: Whimsy]

Barney Rubble, though ostensibly retired, has been asked to project manage the building of a new school in Hampshire. GF feels that he should sound a word of warning, based on this news article. Apparently:

Romanian builders are in trouble after geese ate the walls of the school they were supposed to be renovating.

It goes on to explain:

After all a goose is just a goose. This project was financed by the public budget and I don't blame the birds for the damages. It's the builders' fault because they didn't take care of their work.

Now assuming that Avian Influenza doesn't wipe out Hampshire's geese, GF suggests that Barney keeps his eyes open.

[File under: Whimsy]

Back is Sussex after a trouble free journey home. Not a lot to report - fairly typical day with the Client until early afternoon. Then we had another programme board meeting for the sneezing chickens... thank goodness for teleconferencing systems with a mute button. It allows the Gorse Fox to get on with some additonal work whilst the board progresses slowly. GF can't reveal much of the proceedings - not because of the official secrets act, not because of client confidentiality, but mainly because it was two hour exercise in how not to have meetings. GF did wish he could have taped it and used it as a cure for insomnia.

[File under: Diary]

The Silver Vixen confirmed that the Cubs' Christmas presents had turned up... Still have to sort out a gift for the Silver Vixen herself.

[File under: Diary]

The WiFi sems to have survived the night and GF has a working link again this morning.

Had a pleasant evening in Malvern with Boston and The Mighty Atom. The trio went along to a local Indian Restaurant for and evening of fine conversation and good food.

[File under: Diary]

Fairly quiet day in Worcester brightened by the intermittent availability of WiFi access. Colleagues have been configuring the access points, but there is a problem in the link back to the comms room that keeps knocking us over. However, each time GF visits, there is further progress!

[File under: Diary]

Gorse Fox has to make his weekly trek to Worcester. Despite the forecast, it looks frost-free here on the coast.

Th cubs Christmas presents should turn up today, all being well... only the Silver Vixen to sort out now!

[File under: Diary]

GF has a handheld GPS which he uses on his walks. It has features that allow him to find hotels, restaurants, museums and other landmarks. Waht it doesn't show is a list of Public Conveniences... but then GF guesses it wouldn't be a GPS but a SatLav.

[File under: Whimsy]

Every cloud has a silver lining

Gorse Fox has been thinking about the "Oily 'orror of 'emel 'empstead, 'erts"... and mused on the destruction it has caused, and the fact that there have been so few injuries.

A smile crept across his face.
Should GF snigger at such destruction?
Probably not but think of the Robber Baron Gordon Brown's apoplexy at the lost tax revenue from 15M gallons of fuel - doesn't that make you feel warm inside?

[File under: Buncefield, Hemel Hempstead, Gordon Brown]

Annual appraisal time has come around again. Gorse Fox spends considerable time and effort in reponding to the various requests for formal feedback towards colleagues appraisals. However, he then hits the sticky subject of his own appraisal.

Gorse Fox has to see his commander on Friday, so must complete his self-assessment today. Starfleet expects its troopers to write their own appraisal, based on the feedback received. GF finds this a little stressful. It seems so un-English to promote one's own efforts and successes - rather they should be down-played and shrugged off. This is not an easy task each year.

[File under: Appraisals]

GF & the Silver Vixen are off to spend the day with Betty & Barney Rubble in Old Basing. Light blogging forecast.

[File under: Diary]

Christmas Shopping

GF has discovered a new aspect to Christmas Shopping online. Gorse Fox should explain. Online shopping for Christmas Presents:

• Means never queuing to get in a car park
• Means not being ignored by sales staff
• Means not have to lug presents up and down the High Street
• Means not getting cold or wet when shopping
• Means not polluting the environment with the noxious gasses caused by his car
• Means not worrying about closing time
• Means stress free shopping

Well actually, no. This new aspect of online shopping GF refers to as "Price stress". Have used all the shopping comparison services and looked at slightly different specification of each product... GF has realised that you can get stressed over whether you really have got the best product/deal/service.

• Is x from Store A really the same as x¹ from Store B?
• Is that the best price for delivery?
• Does the price include VAT?
• Is it better to go for slower cheaper delivery, or faster premium priced delivery?
• Will GF be in the day they deliver?

Gorse Fox thinks the days of an orange in the bottom of a sock filled with chocolates were underrated!

A NOTE To The POLITICALLY CORRECT: This is Christmas or Hannakah... it is not Winterval, or any of these new trendy names. This has been known as Christmas for the best part of a couple of thousand years and GF is NOT going to stop calling it as such as sop to the pathetic liberal multi-cultural apologists who are destroying free speech and the heritage of our country.

[File under: Christmas Presents, Online shopping]

Drop dead - No don't !

Ananova, always and interesting read, tells us that a Brazilian Mayor wants to ban death. Apparently

The mayor of a Brazilian town is trying to bring in a law making it illegal for residents to die.

Why? oh that's simple:

the town's only cemetery is full

Maybe that's the secret of eternal life... just ban death. Simple really.

[File under: Whimsy, WhimsyBrazil, Death]

The BBC News online article Poultry listed in bird flu move gives a little publicity to the work that has been absorbing so much of the GF's time recently.
Interesting list of birds to be included:

Chickens, turkeys, ducks, geese, pheasants, quail, guinea fowl, partridges, pigeons reared for meat only, emus, ostriches, cassowaries, rheas and kiwis.

GF would like to openly acknowledge the work done by his delivery team who converted ideas into reality. (No names, to protect the innocent).

[File under: Avian Flu]

Mellors is at the bottom of the garden trimming the west hedge. The sun is shining, Ten Years After are playing on the sound system. All is looking good with this corner of the world.

Tinkerbell phoned for a 30 minute bleat... then Teddy Bear phoned for some status setting.

The Gorse Fox's work for the sneezing chickens has come to fruition this morning with the launch of a new system for poultry keepers to register their flocks... currently just call-centre based, but several enhancements still planned over the next few weeks including self-registration, but at least things are under way.

[File under: Diary]

Boris is on the prowl...

I suppose as a politician you must get used to humbug, hypocrisy and sickening opportunism, but when Gordon Brown stood up and announced to the Labour Party conference that the chief defect of David Cameron, as Tory leader, was that he was "an old Etonian", I am afraid I almost blew a gasket.

It's not just that I, too, had the joy of attending the Fettes of England. It is not the sheer chippiness I resent. It is not his pathetic attempt to curry favour with his rank-and-file followers by making snide remarks about an opponent's background, when he is himself the son of the manse and the beneficiary of one of the finest educations this country can provide, at one of its very poshest universities.

It is the rank dishonesty of the Chancellor I dislike. He is attempting to re-open a class divide that long ago disappeared, and he and his party are refusing to admit the existence of the real divide in our society.

and it continues with further insightful discourse. GF recommends it.

GF is surprised that The Robber Baron Gordon Brown didn't actually say "that the chief defect of David Cameron, as Tory leader, was that he was English"

[File under: David Cameron, Gordon Brown, Boris Johnson]

A nice man has come to the home of the Gorse Fox and Silver Vixen to perform further maintenance on a squeaking window frame. Hopefully it will fix the last of the irritating squeaks this time.

[File under: Diary]

Long drive back tonight from Worcester. Passing four separate road traffic accidents on the way home added about 45 minutes to the normal run.

[File under: Motoring]

A Small Miracle

Gorse Fox has just received an email authorising the use of WiFi after all. Trolls defeated once more. Sense prevails.

[File under: WiFi]

A fine meal at the "Bear and Ragged Staff"... it's rare that GF sees marlin on the menu, so it seemed like a good choice and did not disappoint.

Quiet evening back in the hotel - must say that prefer not to stay there. Room was cold, no WiFi or even ethernet access, and lousy traffic round the ring road. Note to Best Western "It's the 21st Century guys! Adequate heating and Internet access should be standard".

New project manager joined the team this morning. Seems like a good chap.

[File under: Diary, Best Western]

From the clear crisp skies of Sussex, GF watched the temperature vary from a heady 3C to -3C as he crossed Hampshire, and rise dizzily to 1C as he entered Berkshire. Wiltshire flew by, but then Gloucestershire presented with overcast skies and low clouds that dumped mists and drizzle on the route. The journey went without incident and the Gorse Fox finds himself in worcester once more.

[File under: Diary]

Ananova - World's first musical sandwich

Gorse Fox thinks this is something he can do without: World's first musical sandwich.

The sandwich plays a medley of Christmas tunes when the packaging is opened.

Oh really! What will they think of next?

"One idea already under consideration is working with record companies to launch songs by new artists on the market by way of the musical sandwich."

Do you think Apple may retalliate? An iPod that dispenses ham and cheese?
[File under: Whimsy, iPod,Sandwich]

The new week sees the Gorse Fox working in Sussex today. The adminisphere is at the forefront of GFs mind as he ploughs on through the day.

GF notices a headline on BBC News online Parents back knives ban. It is not remarkable in itself. It is more a case of wondering whether it's news.
What's the alternative? and GF's mind started to wander:

• Parents encourage the carrying of knives
• National curriculum extended to cover knife combat
• Child receives throwing stars with marked homework
• The GCSE Biology practical includes stitchwork
• Marks & Spencer introduce thermal knife vests for the under fives
• ITV introduces new reality show "Knife Swap"
• A friendly shop near Datchet opens a website TheMerryKnivesofWindsor.co.uk
• Scar music becomes popular
• A old band rebrands itself, led by Mick Dagger
• Stilletto heels become a tradeable commodity (beyond Essex)
• A boy scout is arrested for wounding within tent

[File under: Whimsy, Knives]

GF must apologize for a quiet day on the blog. Various domestic duties have kept him busy most of the daylight hours.

[File under: Diary]

Blowing cobwebs

The Silver Vixen headed off to Worthing with little hope of finding a space to park amongst the broomsticks of her coven.

The Gorse Fox headed home and went through some admin before deciding that it was time to get some air. His aim was a walk along the beach, but he had not catered for the cold wind blowing in from the channel, and had not dressed adequately... so bottled out pretty quickly.

Never mind. There is something cathartic about walking along the tide line with a cold wind blowing the salt spray across the shore. The storms of the last few days had obviously been stronger than GF had realised as he find several small fish (about 6 inches long) which had been cast right up beyond the normal high tide mark. 

The Silver Vixen and Gorse Fox have just been out to test drive a Toyota Corolla. Verdict: a nice car; good and solid; good visibility; easy to drive; but the 1.6 Automatioc seemed a little underpowered.
This got the GF thinking. Toyota sem to have an excellent reputation, but also seem to have several manufacturing blindspots:

• there is no 1.8 Auto for the Corolla. You have to go to the Avensis for that? Why? The Silver Vixen doesn't want a car the size of an Avensis.
• Where are the diesel automatics?
• Why ais there talk of dropping the multimode gearbox on the Corolla Verso?

Most manufacturers charge extra for Automatic transmission, but at least you can get it with suitably powered engines. Many manfacturers now do sophisticated automatic transmission for diesels - recognising the importance of fuel economy. Why are Toyota so backward?

[File under: Motoring, Toyota]

It's getting busy around the trough. As private sector workers are expected to work 3 or 4 years longer in order to geta pension, and private sector workers are told they can retire at 60, we now find the most cossetted bunch of all back at the trough. The Time Online informs us MPs demand 22% pay rise as Brown offers public sector 2%. The article has several snippets that raise the hackle:

The MPs, whose salary is £59,095, are also demanding, in addition to the inflation-busting pay increase, an improved petrol allowance. Last year it was cut from 57.7p for the first 20,000 miles to 40p, in line with Inland Revenue rates.

Is it any surpise then that they don't squeal when petrol prices go up and the robber baron Gordon Brown pockets more tax... they don't even notice it.

The MPs argue that their salaries have fallen by 12 per cent against their public sector counterparts and 15 per cent in the private sector since they lost the right to set their own pay in 1994.

B*ll**ks. In the private sector pay may rise, but as a rule it is justified on improved productivity or promotion. GF has seen no improved productivity from government (indeed the continued growth of the civil service indicates the opposite), and the only promotion for most MPs is self-promotion.

Vince Cable, the Lib Dem Treasury spokesman, said: “This will be embarrassing for MPs. I could have earned a great deal more outside Parliament, but that is not what you go into politics for.”

Quite right. GF thinks such brazen, self-serving insensitivity is one of the marks of modern politics.

[File under: MP Salary]

Oo

Gorse Fox has been palying with the new release of Open Office (V2) this afternoon. Superb stuff. He thinks that if it were not for the Esteemed Client's organisation using MS Word, he could probably ditch the bloatware entirely.

A few useful facts:

• A 10.1MB Word file converted to Open Office was 158KB
• Open Office is free
• The download for the whole suite id only 70MB
• Open Office (already) uses open standards
• The suite includes:
• Text Document composer
• Spreadsheet
• Presentation
• Drawing (which includes exporting of SVG files)
• Database integration that allows use of existing databases, or the generation of databses in an imbedded HSQLDB engine.

Gorse Fox commends it, he is mightily impressed. Do visit OpenOffice.org

[File under: OpenOffice, Microsoft, MS Word]

After a foul drive back to Sussex last night, Gorse Fox was greeted by a newly laid carpet in the bedroom, Sir Lancinglot laying the flooring in the bathroom, UUrban-cub 7 Silver Vixen cooking dinner, and directions as to where the new bed had to be placed.

Pausing briefly to warp himself round a fine glass of wine, GF started to put the new bed together. This turned out to be a lengthy task and Sir Lancinglot came along to give a hand.

GF should point out that he and the Silver Vixen have a very large bedroom, and the previous bed was lost in its wide open spaces. (Herds of wildebeest had sometimes been seen migrating across the far side of the room). This new bed, however, is more fitting to the acreage. The beautifully crafted oak bed now sits majestically in the corner of the room. It is so large, that GF considered painting white lines on the quilt cover and renting it out at weekends as a football pitch, but decided that stud marks would be inappropriate.
(Any comments regarding the GF and studs are entirely within you own mind)

[File under: Diary]

So there was the Gorse Fox sitting at the head of a traffic queue in Bramdean. The queue was caused by roadworks and traffic was being controlled by 4-way traffic lights (as the road works were on a blind cross-roads). The sequence seemed slow, but GF is patient. He looked in his mirror and saw the queue stretch back several hundred yards behind him. He went back to scratching his head, or picking his nose (as is mandated in traffic queues) when a flassh caught his eye... there coming up the wrong side of the road was a black Suburu Impreza (estate). he shot past the queue, through the red light, passed all the the roadworks and screamed off up the hill.

The cretin.

When he gets his come uppence (which he surely will, driving like that) one only hopes that the only other victim is a motorway bridge or something equally solid and inanimate.

[File under: Motoring]

The Gorse Fox finds himself suited and booted again for another trup across country today. Light blogging foecast.

[File under: Diary]

Air Guitar

Now here's an invention worth watching for:

Finnish computer science students have devised a system which enables air guitarists to hear themselves 'play'.

If you have never seen the World Air Guitar Championships, the GF commends them to you. They are usually held at the end of August in Oulu, Finland. Watching the webcast one year GF & the Cousteau-cub nearly had asthma attacks from the laughing.

The Virtual Air Guitar project, developed at the Helsinki University of Technology, adds genuine electric guitar sounds to the air guitar.

[File under: Science and Technology, Air Guitar]

Sally's Traffic

The Gorse Fox spent part of yesterday evening in Sally's Traffic.

Heading back down to Sussex from the insurance event at near Birmingham he found himself sitting on the M40 whilst three lanes of traffic sat there waiting for the road to be cleared of debris from an earlier accident. It was frustrating, but reminded the GF how lucky he is with his normal route to and from Worcester. Having said that, cars had been abandoned in the snow on his normal route, the night before... good job he was halfay up the Malvern Hills.

[File under: Motoring]

Pull out

Old father Time has sent Gorse Fox an email... Not sure of the original source, but it's worth an airing.

Interesting Thought for the day: - Gotta love the logic.

If you consider that there have been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000.

The rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000. That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in our Nation's Capitol, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the nation, than you are in Iraq.

Conclusion: Pull out of Washington D.C.

In God We Trust

GF should have taken his flak jacket last month!

[File under: Iraq, Washington]

Gorse Fox now understands why his insurance premiums keep rising. Today he has been speaking at a conference held by one of the big companies, held for their IT designers. There seemed to be hundreds of them.

[File under: Diary]

It was a slow drive across to Malvern in the snow, but nothing too troublesome. The hotel chosen was on the side of the Malvern Hills, with a car park on a steep slope. As the snow had settled, parking was an interesting exercise. The slobbering of a St Bernard as it padded past the car alerted the GF to the conditions.

[File under: Diary]

Snow has started to fall, and GF has booked into a hotel on the side of hill. Smart move eh?

[File under: Diary]

Monday morning sees the Gorse Fox in Worcester. He went to bed in Sussex, woke up with the alarm and assumes he drove up here... but to be fair must have been on auto-pilot for some of the drive.

[File under: Diary]

Simply Insane

Gorse Fox has been out with the Silver Vixen looking for a new car for her. Ford, Honda, Nissan and Toyota have featured in the selection. Some are now being eliminated (Honda seemed to tinny and internally seemed cheap and plasticy; Nissan didn't have waht was needed in a suitbale price range etc).
What was not considered was the Bugatti Veyron, discussed this day by the great philosopher of our time (Jeremy Clarkson).

"Make no mistake, 200mph is at the limit of what man can do right now. Which is why the new Bugatti Veyron is worthy of some industrial strength genuflection. Because it can do 252mph. And that’s just mad — 252mph means that in straight and level flight this car is as near as makes no difference as fast as a Hawker Hurricane."

He goes on (and on):

you can top 400kph.

That’s 370ft a second.

You might want to ponder that for a moment. Covering the length of a football pitch, in a second, in a car.

Err... what about stopping?

Factor in the carbon ceramic discs and you will pull up from 250mph in just 10sec. Sounds good, but in those 10sec you’ll have covered a third of a mile.

That’s five football pitches to stop.

Would this suit the Silver Vixen? GF suspects it is a little low slung for her exquisite frame... which is just as well at £810,000.
Some stats: 1001bhp, 0-62 in 2.5sec, top speed 252mph. GF would like one just to irritate the speed fascists. In fact he would like one just to think that he had £810,000 spare to spend on a car!!!

[File under: Motoring]

Black Dog (in the Mail on Sunday) talks of the vote on smoking in public places and Sir Liam Donaldson's wish to see a total ban, and that fact that he nearly resigned over it. It goes onto tells us:

[he] was nearly pushed by bully boy ex-Health Secretary John Reid. "Reid couldn't abide the way Donaldson put public health above Labour's interests and was desperate to get rid of him".

Says it all really doesn't it?
We also hear that MP Sadiq Khan was prevented from visiting the earthquake zone in Pakistan. he was told his "career is f*****". Why? He voted against the government over the terror bill.

[File under: New Labour, Politics]

Highbury

Checking his blog statistics Gorse Fox finds a recent visitor arrived via a search engine on a quest for "winter attire for watching a game at Highbury". The Gorse Fox has probably not addressed this subject before, but suggests:

1. A Bible, a candle and a bell (to exorcise the Forces of darkness), and
2. Aqualung and flippers, (in case you are brought on as a subsitute - after all, divers need to be equipped), and
3. Ensure you have ready access to a decompression chamber (see 2, above)
4. Ensure you have something arranged regarding decontamination afterwards.

There! Hardly a trace of disapproval evident. A well-balanced, and objective piece of advice!

By the way, had you heard that the Forces of darkness have release perfume. It was featured on the radio yesterday. it's called something like "Arsenal 1886" and Arsenal Is Classified As A Sharp, Oriental, Floral Fragrance... and as the Daily Mirror says:

JUST one disappointment about the new Arsenal perfume, available now at Perfume Shop stores.

It's called 1886 Cologne. And not Eau De Arse.

But there's an upside. With an alcohol content of 80%, it's upholding a fine Gunners tradition.

personally GF would be suspicious of any perfume with the word Arse involved.

[File under: Whimsy, Arsenal]

Grandmaster of Iron Crotch

Gorse Fox would also like to bring your attention to this post. He will leave you to read the article, but brings the following excerpts to your notice:

An assistant then kicked him hard between the legs before he lashed himself to the vehicle.

and

Jin-Sheng, originally from Taiwan, is the grandmaster of Iron Crotch, a branch of Qigong said to have 60,000 followers worldwide.

Its practitioners are known to lift hundreds of pounds with their genitals to increase energy and sexual performance.

Gorse Fox is not sure that he can top that, but is just of to weigh his laptop.

[File under: Whimsy]

Well Yer Honour...

Gorse Fox has just caught up with this item The art of flashing. Gorse Fox has heard some excuses in his time but:

A US student who was arrested for indecent exposure at a careers fair says it was a work of performance art.

Gorse Fox is not sure he will think of highlighter pens quite the same way in the future. You'll have to read it to find out why.

[File under: Whimsy]

Domesticity is the order of the day for the Gorse Fox. An early trip to the shops for some silicon eating gel was on the agenda. A leaking seal near the base of the shower needs to be fixed before a new floor is laid next week.

Hope to find time for a walk today as guests are expected on Sunday... but don't hold out much hope.

[File under: Diary]

Red Card

George Best has just received the final Red Card. Gorse Fox was not a great fan, but RIP.

[File under: George Best]

Informed opinion

Gorse Fox has directed his readers to The Trouser Quandry Resolution in past. Given his own interest in sneezing birds he was delighted by the latest post from this learned source:

Coming so soon after the Asian Bird-Flu hysteria and its disappointingly-low casualty figures of a blue-tit with a bit of a cough, a chicken with a sore throat and two parrots who needed a lie down in a darkened room for a couple of hours, the tabloid newspaper editors were - of course - getting desperate for a new scare story. All of them were on the look out for something - anything - they could use to whip the unthinking hordes into a frenzy of ill-informed speculation, panic and instinctive newspaper purchase.

[File under: Avian Flu, Whimsy]

Gorse Fox wonders at the irony: Brown accused of pension sabotage. Apparently:

Chancellor Gordon Brown has been accused of trying to scupper proposals for the future of pensions before they are even published.

Well, that bit is understandable... he's tried to scupper existing pension schemes by stealing £5Bn per year from them. But then we hear:

Mr Brown is believed to oppose raising the state pension age to pay for restoring the pensions-earnings link.

On Thursday night, he said reforms must be "sustainable, fair and affordable".

Well, Gorse Fox suggests that if he wants them to be fair, he changes MPs pensions so that they mirror the average private pension afforded to the rest of us. That would be FAIR... and then the rest of us would feel a little happier about him fiddling while our pensions burn (a hole in his pocket).

[File under: Pensions, Gordon Brown]

A flake of snow is expected. The met Office have been warning of it all week. GF suspects that affected areas will grind to a halt, and local authorities will say:

• There was no warning
• It was the wrong sort of snow
• It melted then re-froze washing away the grit
• So what

[File under: Whimsy]

And finally...

In his final post from a quick scan around Ananova, GF commends to you this article
regrading interesting iPod developments:

Boffins have invented a sex toy that connects up to an iPod and vibrates in time to the music.

The vibrations get faster as the music gets louder on the £25 iBuzz, reports the Sun Online.

GF thinks that this is nothing new. Indeed did Kiki Dee not sing "I got the music in me, I got the music in me, I got the mu-sic in me"

[File under: iPod,Whimsy]

Order me a new Dyson

Ananova reports "Cleaners 'hoovered cash from slot machines'":

Two cleaning ladies are being investigated for using industrial vacuum cleaners to suck cash out of casino slot machines.

This is where the continued suction of the bagless Dyson is so valuable.
[File under: Whimsy]

Back in deepest Sussex beavering away at various chores related to sneezing birds and so forth. The phone has interrupted progress throughout the exercise... but GF is winning.

Now, whilst on avian subjects, the GF was amused by this little item from the ever informative Ananova:

A cheating husband was exposed after his wife's parrot mimicked his voice calling out another woman's name.

Frank Ficker, 50, has now been kicked out of the family home by wife Petra, also 50, after she heard their 12-year-old parrot Hugo impersonating him on the phone to another woman,

I'll bet that's one parrot that Frank wishes had had Bird Flu.

[File under: Whimsy]

Gluespots

Gorse Fox tried to link in through the t-Mobile Hotspot at his hotel last night. He offers a word of warning. Connecting to the Hotspot went smoothly, and the login screen popped up for GF to provide his credentials. As the login window disappeared... GF was unsure whether he was logged in or not. Normally a window is returned with a logout button.... but not this time. He then embarked on an attempt to reconnect - but that was rejected as it claimed he was already logged on. There was still no evident way, however, for him to log off. In the end he gave up and disconnected.
Trying again this morning, the same problem was evident - t-Mobile claiming GF was already logged in. He phoned the helpline, and sure enough had remained logged in since last night. Will phone billing department when they open... but susect this has been a costly lesson. Suggest that you always check you are logged-off as well as disconnected.

[File under: Wireless HotSpot]

What a foul drive to Worcester. The clear coast soon gave way to mucky mist and frost. The winsdscreens became coated in road grime, and the Gorse Fox forgot the pleasures of driving.

Soon after arriving, the Mighty Atom turned up and we started on a staccato induction as GF had to take one interrupt after another.

[File under: Diary]

Gorse Fox, Urban-cub, Cousteau-cub, Sir Lancinglot and the Silver Vixen all went out for a splendid meal at the Imperial China in Worthing to celebrate the Silver Vixen's Birthday... possible tell-tale photos to follow.

GF is about to head across country to Worcester.

[File under: Diary]

Bag snatcher knocks himself out

Oh, this is just priceless: Bag snatcher knocks himself out

A man has been charged with robbery after allegedly snatching a woman's handbag and then running into a wall and knocking himself out.

Gorse Fox will chuckle about this right up to the point when the man sues the owner of the wall.
[File under: Just desserts]

Britain is ready to go nuclear

According to The Times Online

Less than two years after a government paper called nuclear power an unattractive option, the Prime Minister has become convinced that building nuclear power stations is the only way to secure energy needs and meet obligations to reduce carbon emissions.

GF thinks this is good and sensible news at a time when we we had seemed to be increasingly dependent on foreign energy sources. The best part of this, however, is the furore it it will cause amongst the eco-mentalists who have been tring so hard to move us back towards the stone age.
It is rare for the Gorse Fox to find anything positive coming out of the current cretinous government, but this is the exception. Never thought he'd say it but "Well done Tony Blair!". Now must go and lie down in a darkened room.

[File under: Nuclear Power, Tony+Blair]

Another cold and crisp night. A small monkey was just seen wandering by clutching his lap. The sun glistens off a couple of brass sperical objects rolling down the road in front of him.

The Gorse Fox sits at the breakfast table as the Silver Vixen opens her cards and presents. Slowly, the Gorse Fox is disappearing under mountains of discarded wrapping paper. He has a day's vacation today to celebrate the auspicious anniversary of the Silver Vixen's birth back near the middle of last century. Plans for the day are fluid - Cousteau-cub should be joining us at some point, and if we find somewhere nice to go this evening, no doubt Urban-cub and Sir Lancinglot will join us.

[File under: Diary]

You can knock me down..

Nearly missed this... World dominoes record is toppled.

A new record for knocking dominoes over was set in the Dutch town of Leeuwarden when a team set up and toppled more than 4,250,000 of them.

That's a heck of a lot of pizzas!

[File under: Records]

Complaints?

Gorse Fox is the world's least confrontational person (if that's quite ok with you). As a result he rarely complains in shops and restuarants even when service or quality is poor. Now Gorse Fox has seen an alternative approach in this story.

A US woman was arrested for calling 911 after a restaurant served her cold onion rings.

Now GF wonders if our local Police Force could intervene when GF gets bad service? He guesses not... but maybe the Fire Brigade?

[File under: Whimsy]

Homemade Blue Movies?

Gorse Fox wonders who feels more upset by this story.

A Canadian teenager is in trouble after selling her mum's camcorder - with a home made blue movie still inside.

Lawyer Robert Beninger said his client didn't know the tape was in the camera.

I'll bet !!!

[File under: News]

There is a rent in the fabric of the Universe. This has resulted in the Forces of Darkness climbing above spurs in the Premiership. There can be no other conceivable explanation.

[File under: Football]

Gorse Fox's brother-in-law is in the wars. For several years he has been suffering from pains in his hips. Though he is severeal years younger than the GF it was evident that condition was becoming more severe.

Yesterday they took him into hospital and re-surfaced the ball and socket joint in one hip. GF is not qute sure what material is used, probably a bit of 80-grit sand paper to get a nice key and then would have thought that a nice hard-wearing Wilton would be nice and soft, but long lasting... or maybe a nice vinyl (but they can be cold to the touch).

Anyway. GF's thoughts go out to him... here's hopping for a speedy recuperation.

[File under: Diary]

Gorse Fox has just watched Barcelona give Real Madrid a lesson on how to play football.

The score was 0-3, but what amazes the GF is the lack of passion. Beckham (as usual) worked his socks off, and the goalie Ike Casillas saved Real Madrid from even greter embarrassment. They were, however, the only two R-M playes who seemed to have any commitment or passion. The rest Los Galacticos seemed to be sulking at the fact they were being played off the park. Instead of digging-in a fighting they went AWOL. No application, no attitude.

What R-M need is new manager who understands that a a great team works together as a unit, building on each others strengths... it is not a bunch of talentred individuals doing as they please. They also need to build a solid and dependable defense... not keep treating their defenders as the poor relations.

[File under: Football, Real Madrid]

Perils of Genealogy

Genealogy is one of the Gorse Fox's many pursuits. It can be an intriguing and an infuriating pastime. Now and then it throws up a real surprise.

GF has been contacted through Genes Reunited by someone trying to track down his father. The person has a somewhat obscure middle name, and could immediately by located in GF's database. However, he was linked to a distant cousin with who GF has no contact.

The seeker was fairly desparate, and sent several emails. GF was dubious and cautious. He decided to contact another cousin who has a closer link to this part of the family. The cousin has now contacted GF and filled in several details... and will contact the distant mother of the cousin involved (as it was her partner being sought).

It seems that he was a trusted baby-sitter... you can fill in the details yourselves!
[File under: Genealogy]

Another cold crisp morning greets the Gorse Fox as he starts to plan the day's proceedings. It is the Silver Vixen's birthady on Monday, and so there are certain inevitable requirements to be fulfilled at the local shops.

[File under: Diary]

That was a week!

Project Management wallahs met with client to provide a reality check. Sounds like they missed the spin meister, but (grudging) agreement was reached.
Lesson to be learnt is that if it take 1 woman 9 months to produce a baby:

1. 9 women cannot do it in 1 month (however hormonal they are)
2. Setting a 1 month deadline makes no difference. It's the nature of the thing.
3. It's no use trying to design round it.

GF would add that the design process is like the conception. It's the fun bit.

(Note: Any parallels drawn between Project Managers and hormonal pregnant women are merely forged in the reader's mind and have no foundation in writings of the Gorse Fox!)

[File under: Project Management]

Swiss driver attacks Gatso with pick-axe

The Register reports on this heart-warming story: Swiss driver attacks Gatso with pick-axe. The story relates

...an enraged Swiss driver has smashed a speed camera off its mountings with a pick-axe after the Gatso snapped him doing 50mph in a 30mph zone...
Not satified with that, he then ran the offending camera over with his car, drove it up a mountain and chucked it off a cliff, in the process successfully destroying both Gatso and film...

The Gorse Fox has a new hero

[File under: Gatso, Speed Cameras]

What a ridiculous time to be up and about, when there's actually no need to be.
Gorse Fox was awake, and it was evident that this was not going to change. Rather than disturb the Silver Vixen more than necessary, he decided it was time to get up. Stupid!

[File under: Diary]

Middle Class

Gorse Fox notes that Sir Ian Blair believes that Middle Classes look down on the Police Force. Gorse Fox has thought about this, and can speculate from his own position:

• GF is (at best) middle class
• GF has the utmost respect for individual policemen
• GF also has great respect for their authority and leadership during major crises
• GF thinks they have a very difficult job, but
• GF has a diminishing respect for the "Force"

Now what's behind this:

• The political posturing of the police hierarchy
• The apparent obsession with targets which seems to divert resources to "easy targets"
• The reliance on speed cameras for gathering fines without any significant traffic controls to monitor poor driving.
• The arrest of a walker for using a cycle path under the Prevention of Terrorism Act
• the stopping of 600 people in Brighton under the new terror laws
• The time delay in getting assistance when calling the police
• The prosecution of a woman for eating an apple while driving.

But more significantly the Police Force are the public face of Law and Order, and

• They are expected to enforce ridiculous laws
• There appears to be a bias towards the perpetrator not the victim
• The inability to get convictions because of trivial and inconsequential technicalities
• The apparent disconnection between the judiciary and real life
• The use of Human Rights legislation to avoid prosecution
• Trivial and vexatious prosecutions

and these latter items are NOT really the fault of the Police.

[File under: Police, Law & Order]

It has taken since March to get ADSL and our wireless router installed in Worcester. But it's there. It's been installed. Its been activated, and it's been de-activated. Security have thrown a strop, and the earlier agreement that we had has been ignored.
GF has delegated this to Stoker to deal with at present...

[File under: Diary]

First conference call of the day complete... and so another frantic day begins. Where is the Gorse Fox? Well he should be in The Surrey Hills, Worcester, London and Peterborough. Deciding, however, that even his schizophrenia is insufficient to allow his presence in four such diverse locations at once... he has remained in Sussex.

[File under: Diary]

Urban-cub and Sir Lancinglot joined the Gorse Fox and Silver Vixen for dinner. Nice to see them... though the Silver Vixen sees them quite often, GF doesn't so it was nice.

[File under: Diary]

A frantic morning... and now GF heads up to the Surrey Hills. It is NOT for walk, however, but rather to meet with colleagues and continue to prepare for sneezing fowl.

[File under: Diary]

You can't have it all

Don't you just love users. GF has just been on a long conference call. It basically went like this:

1. Given: we cannot deliver solutions to every one of your requirements (finalised yesterday) by your Target date.
2. This is the list we can deliver
3. This is roughly when the the other bits will be available.

HMG responds:

1. Understood
2. Good
3. We want these as well.

Doh! Refer to 1, and restart process... several times.

[File under: Diary]

The possible future incursion of sneezing birds continues to exercise the mind of the Gorse Fox and consumes most of his processing capacity at present. Macro design is complete, and rapid development has commenced alongside micro-design. Dates are a real challenge for the team.

[File under: Diary]

Gorse Fox has spent several hours chasing a receipt. He is preparing his expenses and could not find the receipt for a significant expenditure.

• Laptop back emptied and re-packed
• Overnight bag emptied and repacked.
• Pile of magazines rifled and discared
• Pile of mail rifled and re-stacked

Panic beginning to set in.
Then it occurred to the GF; Starfleet are pretty advanced, did the receipt come by email? ... et voila! Expenses completed.

[File under: Diary]

Painting not Perambulating

Gorse Fox's domestic duties continue today with the painting of the Silver Vixen's lair sewing room. So GF is afraid there's no walk to report, and no photos of the South Downs to bring you.
If he gets time he may stroll along the beach later.

[File under: Diary]

A leaked document in the Mail on Sunday tell us that the Odious Deputy Prime Monster's continued destruction of England will continue with the eradication of the Shire Counties. That level of administration will be regionalised.
Gorse Fox was just reviewing some of the recent ideas from New Labour and the ODPM:

• Destruction of the Shire Counties (County Councils)
• Appointment of unelected Regional Authorities - after a referendum said they were not wanted
• Removal of trial by jury for some cases
• Assumption of guilt for motoring offences and imposition of fines without trial
• Attempted eradication of "English" identity
• Human Rights - and the persecution of victims instead of perpetrators
• Deification of minorities
• Villification of Christian traditions such as marriage and Christmas
• The politicisation of Police, and the Intelligence Services.
• The proposed introduction of Identity Cards removing the right of an English Citizen togo about his daily business without proof of his right to exist.
• Introduction of additional taxation if you have a nice view, live somewhere nice, or have smartened up your property.

Now the Gorse Fox wonders why he voted for these cretins... and then remembers that HE DIDN'T.

UPDATE: Peter Hain on today's lunchtime interview had the bare faced cheek, the effrontery to say that Labour is the "party of civil liberties". (yeah! like Kim Jong Il is the leader of the free world)

[File under: ODPM, John Prescott]

There is a primal satisfaction in the conquest of Argentina in this afternoon's football. That satisfaction is heightened by:

• The fact that England were losing until 5 minutes from the end.
• The fact that the play acting and diving of the South Americans got them nowhere (well except for the second goal).
• The fact that another attempt to handle the ball^** into the net failed
• The fact that the England Team put in a good performance all round.

^**GF would like to point out that this is cheating, but seems to be acceptable in South America as long as it is undetected. That is NOT sport and disgusts the Gorse Fox.

[File under: Football, England, Argentina]

Domestic duties are the order of the day. Silver Vixen and the Gorse Fox went out to look at some toilets.
GF should probably clarify that statement. They went out to a showroom to look at some toilet displays^**, with a view to purchasing.
Having lived in their current house for 6 years, it seemed an appropriate time to buy a toilet. But what sort: dual flush? auto-flush? corner mounted? pedestal? wall mounted? oval? square? circular? the choices seem endless. GF must sit and ponder.
^**No, somehow that doesn't sound quite right either. Where, in todays liberal world, do you go to see a toilet display?
A fly-past?
An event with fireworks? or maybe
Some carnival involving floats perhaps?

[File under: Plumbing]

The Poosh triggered the Gorse Fox to revisit the online quizzes. Disconcereted by the revelation that he is 67% Lara Croft and 67% Neo, he went back to his mathematics texts... and then his wardrobe. All things being equal, he has decided he doesn't have the clothes to be Lara Croft, so will stick to Neo.

You scored as Neo, the "One". Neo is the computer hacker-turned-Messiah of the Matrix. He leads a small group of human rebels against the technology that controls them. Neo doubts his ability to lead but doesn't want to disappoint his friends. His goal is for a world where all men know the Truth and are free from the bonds of the Matrix. Lara Croft 67% Neo, the "One" 67% Indiana Jones 63% Maximus 63% William Wallace 63% James Bond, Agent 007 63% The Amazing Spider-Man 58% Captain Jack Sparrow 50% The Terminator 46% Batman, the Dark Knight 42% El Zorro 38% Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

[File under: ???]

The Truth Laid Bare

Melanie Phillips... always a good read, but what a start:

The tragic epitaph of this society might well be that, at its moment of greatest danger it was led by a politician who appeared to bend over backwards to ensure that the public refused to believe a single word he said — even when he was telling the truth

Disappearing up the fundament of spin. Don't just sit there. Go read it..

[File under: Truth, Blair, 90 days]

Philosophy and the Supreme Being

No, not Diana Ross.
The ever learned Norm brings us the post: normblog: Socrates is a bird

This reminds the Gorse Fox of pseudo-syllogism from his youth:

God is Love,
Love is Blind,
Ray Charles is Blind,
Therefore Ray Charles is God

[File under: Syllogism, Ray Charles]

Troll attack

GF has just been on the receiving end of a Troll-logic attack. To summarise:

• Esteemed client has £x to spend by Financial Year end
• GF is able to realise most of this value as long as he moves quickly.
• He needs to deploy 2 programme managers - revenue = £x/20; Gross Profit 3%
• Deploying said Programme Managers will enable the other projects to happen providing revenue of £x - (£x/20) at Gross profit of >14%
• Trolls won't allow programme managers to be deployed because of low GP on their £x/20.
• £x - (£/20) is therefore not achievable... and to the Trolls, this is good business!!

GF has an overwhelming urge to kick something.

[File under: Trolls]

The Silver Vixen woke.

Why did you have an emboidered chest?She asked.

Evidently last night's dream had been vivid!

"It's more colourful than a tattoo" responded the Gorse Fox, "and it can be unpicked".

Note: Must be more careful with these herbal teas before bedtime.

[File under: Whimsy]

Bottom feeding scum suckers

Some unspeakable scum have stolen boxes of poppies and the collecting boxes from a store in Chichester. It is estimated they could raise £100 per hour selling these poppies. GF suspects this would not go towards the British Legion or any other veteran's organisation.
Some things make the Gorse Fox wish to utter a meaningful curse.

[File under: Crime]

Support?

Gorse Fox listened to the evening news. As the bulletin came to an end and the newscasters summarised, they said:

...and the day after his first defeat in parliament, in a show of support Labour's big guns lined up behind Tony Blair.

GF muses that such a show is only support if the barrels aren't trained on your back!

[File under: New labour, Tony Blair]

The Perorations of Lady Bracknell: If Lady Bracknell ruled the world....

Gorse Fox has just discovered the very excellent blog of Lady Bracknell, and points you to this example of genteel erudition: The Perorations of Lady Bracknell: If Lady Bracknell ruled the world....

Gorse Fox is working at home. Intention was to get some work done. End to end conference calls have put paid to that idea! Never mind, at least there is no commuting involved.

[File under: Diary]

To Protect and Serve

Betty Boop is an elderly lady, and acquaintance of the Silver Vixen. The fire brigade recently visited to check her smoke alarms... and got chatting.

Betty Boop explained she is security conscious after an attempted break-in. She heard two youths trying to get through her patio doors, but they gave up. She was (understandably) terrified and stayed in bed. She called the police, but thay said there was nothing thay could do, as they had gone and she had no description. Betty Boop has taken this in her stride and dismissed it.

The Fireman was horrified by this, he said that if she ever had a similar experience, she should call 999 and ask for the fire brigade. They would turn out in minutes with two tenders.

Worrying really that the Police will stop 600 people in Brighton for walking past the Conference Centre when New Labour are there, arrest a woman for walking along a cycle path, want 90 days to hold someone without charge, but can't be bothered to visit an old lady under threat... thank goodness the other emergency services have a different view! So you heard it here first... when under threat call the Fire Brigade because the Police can't be bothered

[File under: Police]

Long and difficult day... but at least it was successful!

[File under: Diary]

Gorse Fox is beginning to feel like a regular commuter. He is heading back to London today for a series of en-to-end meetings. GF expects one of them to be a bit fractious, but believes he will survive!

GF sees that scientists are hoping to prove the existence of gravitational waves (according to the BBC). GF was underwhelmed at first. Then realised this may explain why his weight varies.

[File under: Diary]

Why is it that on the night you really fancy a Chinese Take-away, they are closed?

And whilst on the subject of inponderables (or is it Murphy's Law):

• Why do the Level Crossing gates always close as Gorse Fox approaches, when in a hurry. But never when he's not?
• Why does the knuckle-dragging 20-stone mouth-breather sit next to Gorse Fox on the train (as she did this morning)?
• How does John Prescott hang onto his job? In any commercial enterprise his record of failures and disasters would consign him to unemployment.
• Why do the BBC still make Eastenders?
• Why is that on evening the Gorse Fox really fancies a hot curry, he has a long train or car journey the following morning?

[File under: Whimsy]