Passport

The Urban-cub needed a new passport. She phoned and made an appointment to get it seen to at the Passport Office in London today. What would she need?

• The current passport
• A form of picture id
• Proof of residence (e.g two utility bills) etc.

What about a photo? she asked. She was assured this wasn't necessary if her appearance hadn't changed.

The Gorse Fox accompanied her arriving at the Passport Office 20 minutes or so before the appointment. (It's such a good idea to have timed appointments).

"Good morning, I have an appointment at 1:15, is there somewhere I can fill in the form, or do I do that during the appointment?" seemed like a polite query to open proceedings.

"Over there" came the reply and so we stood (there were no chairs) by a 3 in shelf trying to fill in an A4 application form.

Having filled it in we went back and asked where to go, and were told that U-c had to go up by herself. GF explained he would be paying for it, so where should he pay?

"Go and get the cash from Victoria Station" he was told and ushered to the door with U-C. GF has learnt over the years that it is pointless arguing with jobsworths and it was very clear that this part of the Passport Office was inhabited solely by jobsworths.

As he made his way to the station he mulled over the fact that he was actually paying for the Home Office and its staff and it was clear they had no idea how to deal with the public (their employers). Needless to say he had to queue at the ATM but was soon back at the door with Urban-cub, and still early for the interview.

As she moved forward GF was blocked off and told he had to wait, but when he went to wait at the area marked "Meeting and Greeting". The jobsworth bore down on him. Apparently the sign is irrelevant, the Gorse Fox was not allowed to remain in the building. By this point GF was barely maintaining his equanimity and walked out without comment.

remember the Gorse Fox say what a good idea the appointments are? Well forget it - there were loads of people with the same time slot so U-c had to wait further until being seen.

"Where's you photo?" she was asked. She patiently explained the instructions she had been given last weekend and was told "You need a photo, there's a machine downstairs". Now U-c was getting cross, but maintained her civility and asked if she could get change for a £5 note. "No, we don't give change" a woman nearby (almost in tears from her encounter) came to U-c's aid. As Urban-cub walked down the stairs a couple of staff called out sarcastically "Missed your appointment?" she asked them what business it was of theirs and carried on to get the photo.

Over an hour after she went up she finally emerged. The pent up fury was clear... and shared. She commented, through gritted teeth, about the disgusting way in which people were treated and how rude the staff were. GF couldn't bring himself to discuss it.

It was the most disgraceful display of the utter disdain with which certain parts of government treat perfectly innocent and civil members of the public.