Respect

My ongoing and profound respect for the politicians who currently run our country continues to grow. The Blessed Tony who has brought us:

• 66 additional taxes
• 1018 new crimes
• in excess of 500,000 extra civil servants
• The Sout-East Regional Authority - an unelected Quango to over-ride what the electorate of the South-East wants- because they weren't doing as they were told
• longer waiting lists in the NHS
• decriminalisation of class C drugs

Has now made 6 new pledges for the up-coming election.

• Your family better off
• Your child achieving more
• Your children with the best start
• Your family treated better and faster
• Your community safer
• You country's borders protected

Obviously we believe that he will fulfil these pledges, based on his track record for honesty and truthfulness, what else could we do? After all, he told us about WMD in Iraq, (oh no that wasn't right was it). He said there'd be not income tax rises (that was true, just 66 other taxes). He promised Gordon Brown... no, no, not that one either. OK I give up. Are there any promises he made that he kept? Has anyone observed him telling the truth?

These pledges are suitably bland and subjective as to say nothing. I'm sure many jouralists and bloggers will rip them apart and show them for what they are. Here are a few of my first thoughts:

• Your family better off
  As long as you are on benefits - if you actually earn money and contribute to the economy you will continue as a cash cow for us in this self-serving, power-crazed, venal government; or if you are a pensioner because we have already robbed your pension funds and driven many out of business; or live in the South of England, because we are re-directing your subsidies up north, then capping your councils so that they cannot raise extra revenue.
• Your child achieving more
  Because discipline is now so lax in schools that they can do what they like without fear of sanction, and when sanction or exclusion is imposed it will be over-ridden.
• Your children with the best start
  Which is why school playing fields have been sold off, and school trips are rare because of fear of litigation, and Universities are closing Maths and Chemistry departments, and kids will leave university with vast debts
• Your family treated better and faster
  By joining longer waiting lists to get onto waiting lists, before being treated by medical staff that we have asset-stripped from other countries
• Your community safer
  Which is why we will allow 24-hour licensing for the sale of alcohol, have decriminalised some drugs, and will double the number of roadside revenue collection units (Speed cameras)
• You country's borders protected
  By ID-cards... I can't start to express my contempt adequately

Is there anyone actually stupid enough to vote for them again? Surely when you have been mugged twice you don't go back and invite the mugger to do it again.