Bends

What a battle-royal. Last night saw Man Utd at Highbury to take on the Forces of Darkness. As any regular reader will know, the Gorse Fox supports Spurs... so his interest in such a game is merly as a non-partisan observer, wishing there was a way in which both teams could lose.

It was a magnificent game - passionate and committed. The GF's non-partisan status changed withing the first 10 minutes, however. It became clear that the Forces of Darkness were intent on winning at all costs, and that cheating would be a part of their game plan. This is not acceptable. However, this backfired when it also became clear that they were coming up from their dives too quickly, and the "bends" were setting in. MU soon got the measure of them and gave them a well-deserved good hiding.

I'm embarassed to say it... but well done MU.

Let me add, when I rule the world:

1. Players that pull shirts will have to wear a pink shirt, false pig-tails, ballet pomps, and boxing gloves for 4 games.


2. Players that argue with referees will be suspended for 8 games, for each offence


3. Players who drop down, as if shot by a sniper, then get up and run around with no sign of injury after a free-kick is awarded, will have their toe-nails removed, there and then. (Give them a genuine reason to limp).


4. Players who feign injury after they are accidentally caught in the face will have to spend half-time in the ring with Mike Tyson.


5. Players that dive (i.e. cheat) will be suspended for a complete season, with no right of appeal

Mmmm... re-reading that list, the Forces of Darkness would be in a bad way. That appears to be their normal game plan!