Plumbing the depths

The Gorse Fox has a thing about DIY. That thing is that anything remotely related to plumbing should be avoided.

Today he has broken this rule in a effort to stop the upstairs lavatory from dripping. The cistern was examined and adjustments made – but these made no difference. So it was that GF headed for the DIY store looking for a new “bottom-fill” valve assembly.

After much hunting about he found a side fill valve assemble and went and paid valid coin of the realm before remembering that he needed “bottom-fill”. Returning to the plumbing section he sought said item – but none was on show. He accosted one of the zombies who shuffle round the store and he confirmed that there wasn’t one on show.

“But might you have one in the stock room?” the Gorse Fox dared to ask. There was a long pause whilst this question was parsed and computed. The zombie admitted they might have, and shuffled off towards the tills.

He shuffled back. “Yes, we should have some. Would you like me to get you one?”. The answer seemed obvious and GF curbed his rising need for sarcasm, and said “Yes, that would be most kind”. The zombie shuffled off.

Some time later the zombie shuffled back and handing over one item to the Gorse Fox started to replenish the shelves with the others. Anyone else fancying a “bottom-fill” today should be accommodated “off the shelf”.

Returning home, GF drained the cistern and removed the old valve assembly and float and installed the new one. The dripping from the in-fill was soon stopped and the cistern filled. Slowly. Very slowly. In fact, there are glaciers that move more quickly that the cistern fills and float rises… and when it does rise, it won’t seem to shut the valve.

Much fiddling later, GF has given up.

Should have called Keith the Plumber to start with.