Don't say bang

There's something mildly disconcerting about driving down a busy motorway (at or near the legal limit) and becoming aware of change in the landscape behind you... cars start to clear a path, and a Bomb Disposal Truck with siren wailing and lights flashing comes hurtling towards you, filling the rear-view mirror.

It occurred to the Gorse Fox that you do not want to delay a Bomb Disposal truck that appears to be in a great hurry. He pulled over to make way...

Grenouille

The trouble with going to Cafe Rouge for dinner last night was that GF has woken with a frog in his throat.

Great quote

Quote of the day:

"There's only so much attention you can pay to a cow before she thinks there's something peculiar about you"

Robbie Coltrane

Waiting

The Gorse Fox is left in Worcester with the Don and Mr Magnet...and he is awaiting their arrival before heading for dinner. It seems pointless hanging around in reception so he has decamped to a nearby hostelry where fine small monetary tokens can be exchanged for tall glasses of fine foaming ale.

Prolonging

Well, it looks like the Gorse fox is going to have to spend an extra day in Worcester... and so a smart exit was called for towards the end of the afternoon in order to raid Marks & Spencer for some emergency wardrobe items.

The trouble with going out for dinner in a large group is that it increases the length of the meal exponentially. A nice Chinese meal this evening, but it was rather lengthy.

Pizza

And so the long, long day drew to an end and without much ado we headed for Pizza Express. Most wanted to eat early.... which was a great relief to the Gorse Fox. Boston regaled us with the tales of his village in France. The retired electrician who took an angle-grinder to the armoured cable surround; the wild boar who seemed to penetrate every type of hedge and fence; and the fact that his nearest Indian take-away was probably in Mumbai.

Meanwhile the Mighty Atom is joined by the lovely K8y to create a chirpy molecule here in Worcester... the Abbot is back from Cuba... and things are getting very busy

Thrill

The Gorse Fox is deeply thrilled by the prospect of a 5am start and a journey across country to the cathedral city of Worcester in the morning. His diary tells him that there's a busy week or two in prospect.

Never mind, it's Christmas soon!

The Silver Vixen bought a "Pesonal Laminator" at the weekend. Why would she want to laminate herself?

Bone Idle

The Gorse Fox admits to a day of bone idleness. The weather is glorious and it's too nice to stray from home. A fine chair in the garden is sufficient.

This is all made the sweeter by the announcement that John Prescott (also known for being bone idle) will not be standing at the next election.

Medieval

Leaving the gardens we wandered through the various fields of tents. It conjured up images of one of the great fairs, or the encampment that used to follow great armies.

Certain things became clear:

a) more medieval people wore decent watches than you would have expected;

b) digital cameras were evidently part and parcel of the equipment kept in their belt pouches.

c) cod pieces were very popular, but during a "fashion show" the commentator referred to the cod-piece of the model being worn in the front... Gorse Fox wandered "as opposed to?"

We stopped for a hog-roast. Well actually the hog had already been roasted - we stopped for some succulent slices of said hog.

We watched the world go by, observing the number of medieval beefburgers being sold, the number of Goths that evidently participated in these fairs, and that fact that ugly people who could just get away with being seen in public in modern clothes were not flattered by medieval clothes.

It was all very good natured and great fun. The participants were obviously fully into character and camping in their tents overnight. The visitors were enjoying the show and cheering and groaning as the joust was played out in the arena.

Gardens

Out of the quadrangle and crossing the dry moat we made our way into the formal walled gardens.

In one side of the dry moat, archers were loosing their arrows at polystyrene boar and this side some players were preparing for a rendition of Chaucer.


The view back across the garden to the castle.

Just behind this spot was a huge (ultra modern) sundial. It didn't quite fit the mood (but remembering this is an extension of the Royal Observatory. it was hardly unexpected).


At the far end there was a small garden surrounded by tall hedges. Looking over the border it was possible to see the tops of the Beech and Chestnut woods.

Quad

Crossing the moat the Silver Vixen and Gorse Fox entered through the central tower. Through the tower a quadrangle opened up - reminiscent of the quads seen in Oxford or Cambridge.

Unfortunately the castle itself was not open so we were unable to look inside, but at least we got a chance to wander around.

Memories

The Gorse Fox had a vague recollection, from his childhood, of seeing Herstmonceux from the car as the family made their way to the south coast for a holiday. Seeing the exact setting today, he can only imagine that it was false memory.

Whilst it is spectacular, GF can't see how he could ever have seen it from the road.

Herstmonceux was built as a manor house in the mid-15th century. Sir Roger Fiennes, Treasurer of the Household of Henry V1, started building the castle in 1441. This is one of the first major brick buildings (today it is the oldest brick building of any note still standing in England) and was years ahead of it's time in other respects, with concentration more on grandeur and comfort than on defence.

Out

Such a splendid day deserves an outing. The Gorse Fox and Silver Vixen, however, got a little more than they were expecting.

The plan was to visit Herstmonceux Castle and Grounds. We headed east, passing Brighton and Lewes, crossing the meridian, and noticing signs announcing a Medieval Festival... at Herstmonceux.

Not only was the festival unexpected, it was a little pricey to get in (though to be fair, it was only because it hadn't been expected).

Making our way down the drive we were greeted by the first of several fields full of folk in medieval dress, tending their tents, showing their wares, and practicing their skills.

It was obviously popular as there were quite literally thousands of cars in the surrounding fields (set aside for car parks).

Honest John

If you are a regular motorist, then a weekly scan through Honest John's article in the Sunday Telegraph should be mandatory reading. This weeks' highlight is a letter from a police officer (reproduced below):

I am a retired police sergeant and have extensive road safety and traffic accident investigation experience. I have followed the debate regarding speed cameras and would like to add my opinion. Speed cameras have nothing whatever to do with road safety. They are a blunt instrument with which to criminalise drivers who stray several mph above the speed limit - something that clearly isn't dangerous per se, unless changing or prevailing conditions render it so. Cameras are not able to determine this. Traffic police officers could, but they have mostly been diverted on to other uniform duties, mainly to persecute members of the public for other trivial matters in order to fulfil their "performance indicators", which are hated universally by police officers.

This is a cynical ploy by the Government to fool the electorate that detection rates are up, but you score as many points for solving a shoplifting case as a murder. If the Government was remotely interested in road safety, it would invest more of the excruciating levels of tax it extracts from the road system. Instead, we are forced to endure increasingly dangerous road surfaces, neglected signs and ridiculous levels of congestion that have deliberately been engineered into our transport system. The clear objective is to make motoring such a miserable experience that people will be forced to take public transport.

With speed cameras, the authorities have simply created another dangerous hazard. Where people are unfamiliar with an area, they now spend far too much time with their eyes off the road looking at their speedos, and this has undoubtedly led to an increase in accidents. Fortunately for the Government there is no way of identifying from accident statistics where this has happened, as drivers, while admitting privately what really took place, will not do so officially. Straying over the limit by a few miles per hour does not make a bad driver. Poor governmental policy does.

Postcards from the edge

Looking through this week's mail the Gorse Fox has noticed a postcard from squiffy Sarah. She's at summer camp somewhere out in there in the Commonwealth.

Let's hope she having a wicked time.

The Gorse Fox spent some time researching prices and options on the internetweb-thingy... fully armed he visited the local purveyor of fine automobiles...

"I wish to purchase one of your fine automobiles" he announced, and so began the lengthy process of entering a suitably specified machine and then convincing said purveyor of personal automotive carriages that the price he had intended to charge the Gorse Fox was in fact preposterous, and that the Gorse Fox had a particular price in mind. Laying out the various printed quotations taken from the internetweb-thingy this very morning he was coerced into meeting the Gorse Fox's expectations.

Deposit paid... job done, now he just has to await the construction and delivery.

Action

The Gorse Fox is greeted by the prospect of a glorious day... but he cannot linger, it's time for action. It's about time he got off the fence and ordered his next car.

Or maybe, he'll just sit here and think about it some more.

Well, for a change it would seem that most of the rest of the country was basking in sunshine on the motorways, whilst our little strip of Sussex hid under a blanket of high cloud. At least the Gorse Fox was working from home and not trapped on the roads.

Work today was an interesting mixture of telephone interviews for up-coming events and swimming through spreadsheets.

There is a coach party staying at the hotel. This means the place is overrun with people who do not have a basic understanding of the geography of the hotel. They also seem to share a single pulse between them. As a result breakfast is chaos as pairs of these folk pass the pulde from one to another as the dodder along the breakfast bar unable to decide between the prunes, the All-bran, and the Branflakes. Shuffling back to the table they pass the pulse on to the next couple... and so it continues.

Andrex seemed pleased with himself. He had reduced a component to 2.5 years... The Gorse Fox is delighted that he is happy, and will make no further comment tonight, but at least he now understands why he pays so much tax.

The evening started in our town centre meeting room (Cardinal's Hat) and moved on to "Ask" which provided the sustenance that we needed.

long day at work after very early start. Pleasant evening with The Mighty Atom and Mr Magnet at Cafe Mela... early night planned.

Spam

The Gorse Fox has started to get some comment spam... as a result he has switched on comment moderation as he doesn't believe that genuine readers and contributors should be troubled by this junk. So, comment away... GF will check and release genuine comments regularly.

Palaeobus

Driving back through Worthing, a "Palaeobus" was parked by the pier. This afforded speculation of what this was. Was it a a stone age bus? or more likely, was it parked in Worthing to pick up fossils and bipedal dinosaurs as they promenade along the seafront?

Again the weather looked a little grey so rather than choose and outdoor pursuit the Silver Vixen and Gorse Fox headed for Brighton Marina to take in a movie. Having enjoyed the first two, we decided that The Bourne Ultimatum was likely to entertain... and were not disappointed. It was in fact an excellent action film and well worth the hype that currently surrounds it.

Tarrant St

Some of the picturesque buildings in Tarrant Street, Arundel.

Genteel, civil, courteous, mannerly, polite, well-bred... that's Arundel. Gorse Fox is surprised they allow him to visit!

Butlers

The rather unassuming front of the very excellent Butler's in Arundel.

It seemed like the ideal spot for lunch. Always buzzing with life, yet somehow not boisterous; always superb food, but never pretentious. A genuinely nice place to have lunch.

34

It's 34 years ago today that the Silver Vixen exhibited her dubious judgment and married the Gorse Fox. It was, like this year, a Sunday and a day to remember.

And yes... they did have colour photography. And yes... the Gorse Fox did have more hair then.

Lunch will be taken in Arundel, and the afternoon a little dependent on the weather.

For those of you not familiar with such things, 34 years is the Opal Wedding.

A quiet day. The forecast of rain made the prospect of outdoor pursuits less attractive, but as the Gorse Fox had organised a test drive, it was imperative that we had a trip. In the end we pottered across to Gosport to pick up some extra memory for the cubs' laptops. This gave us the chance to assess the suitability of the seats on the car (over some distance) and whether the Silver Vixen would give them her blessing. A couple of hours later, the car was passed "OK", so now it is up to the Gorse Fox to make up his mind and order something!

New car?

The Gorse Fox is still looking for his new car.

He was assured this was a museum not a showroom. It certainly had a good collection of cabriolets... and by the door was a nice Porch.

Wireframe

As we neared the end of the route we came across a little courtyard. The courtyard was filled with strange but very attractive sculptures.

These wireframes of active figures were astonishing.

Terrace

Imagine waking to this view.

This is the view from the front of the terrace of the existing house. It commands a stunning position over the valley quite takes the breath away.

Up North

The northern end of the garden, above the ponds, puts on a show of understated elegance as the different textures and hues blend then part, merge and then disappear into the distance.

Breaker One-Nine, this here's the Rubber Duck

"Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy"...

"Cause we gotta mighty convoy, rockin' quackin' through the night
Yeah we gotta mighty convoy, ain't she a beautiful sight?"

(With apologies to C.W.McCall)

Smouldering

Acers punctuate the views as you wander round the grounds. After the initial flush of spring they seem to sit and smoulder throughout the summer, promising a climax of colour for the autumn.

This must be a wondrous sight, come early October.

The Ponds

At the bottom of the valley lies a series of ponds that acted as reservoirs for the old engine house which drove the bellows for the charcoal furnaces.

Now they act as a haven for wildlife, and a mirror in which the shapes and colours of the surrounding trees and shrubs are duplicated in the reflections.

Sussex - Down Under

Now that's something you don't expect to see in darkest Sussex... a wallaby. In fact, at Leonardslee there is a mob (flock, consultation, herd) of wallabies.

They seemed perfectly content...

The Rock Garden

The woodland gardens cover some 240 acres in all and were started in the early 1800s by the Beauclerk family, but the Loder family took control in the latter part of the 1800s and several generations on, are still caring for the estate.


The Rock Garden was the first diversion. Mid-summer is not the best time to see this, though it has real depth and texture. We searched round the various nooks and crannies and at each turn there was a new view.

As we left, GF couldn't help but note that for a Rock Garden there was no Led Zeppelin, no Deep Purple... some Rock Garden!

Leornardslee

The Silver Vixen joined the Gorse Fox for a trip inland to the Leonardslee Gardens.

Created in an east-west valley of the Sussex Weald between Cowfold and Handcross the old St Leonards Forest had been denuded for charcoal, but the land was not suitable for agriculture.

It was, however, a perfect spot for an extensive woodland garden.

Photo-printing

Funny how you forget things. The Silver Vixen was tell how one of her friends from Stitch 'n' Bitch can print pictures from her camera directly to her printer. As GF drifted off to sleep, he thought what a useful feature that could be... must experiment.

Lo! and Behold! GF's printer is perfectly capable of doing the same (and with astonishing clarity). Another tick in the box for Canon.

A lazy start to a day's leave finds the Gorse Fox drinking his morning tea looking out over a bright morning. Mellors turned up early, but other than the snip of his secateurs, all is quiet.

Back in Sussex the Gorse Fox is relaxing with a glass of wine looking forward to a long weekend.

Busy day, but GF was finding his motivation waning by the end of the afternoon.

A meeting in Spur 0 Room 1 helped and that was followed by a meal with a small and select group of colleagues at the new Pizza Express. This was accompanied by an analysis of the taxonomy of UK humour which proved to be both fun and amusing as one unnamed colleague burst into a falsetto rendition of one of the songs from Life of Brian.

Much of the day was spent flipping back and forth between two design exercises that GF has been involved with... these are pretty much nailed down, now... so it's up to numbers now.

After work the collective team joined up to invade Cafe Mela for a fine experience in Indian dining. Unfortunately, the evening went on too long for the Gorse Fox who was beginning to fade towards the end.

Money well spent

Well all that money spent on weather forecasting computers was obviously well spent. It was blowing and absolute hooley as the Gorse Fox set off just before dawn. The rain twas hammering against the windscreen and the roads were awash... though things began to settle as he approached Swindon.

And there's more

The Gorse fox has been switching back and forth between spreadsheets and design work today. It keeps him off the street... and both are moving towards a completion.

In other news...

GF is always amused by the accents heard on the TV, One announced yesterday that there's a meatier shower. He wondered if this was related to the Foot & Mouth crisis, or was just the inevitable conclusion of flying pigs.

and

The weather is due to collapse tomorrow - force 9 gales across the south. Before anyone moans about global warming, Gorse Fox would point out that the Fastnet Race starts today. That, in its own right, is a sure harbinger of bad weather.

Lunch in Arundel

To celebrate Urban-cub's birthday of last week we took her and Sir Lancinglot out to lunch. We had enjoyed "Butlers" in Arundel so much when we went there with Agent Mulder and his family, we decided on a return visit.

We were not disappointed. The food was excellent, the service was spot-on, and the ambiance "just right". Great lunch, at a reasonable price.

Leaving the restaurant, the Gorse Fox couldn't resist a quick photo of the Arundel skyline.

Faking it

There has been much publicity recently regarding the propensity for TV editors to "fake it". This has stretched from TV phone-ins, through competition hotlines, faked news footage (here, here, and here), to fake volcanoes (we here today).

The Gorse Fox can reveal, exclusively, that this is not the end of the story. After considerable research through various journals and examination of archive footage the Gorse Fox can reveal:

• Dr Who - is fictitious and is filmed on a set and in various quarries
  
• Startrek - was mocked up on a set

GF expects there'll be serious fall-out from these allegations, but it's time we were told the truth.

Update: expect further revelations regarding Tom and Jerry, Mickey Mouse, Roadrunner, Wacky Races, and The Simpsons. GF has had his doubts for a while now, but with recent evidence the case is now coming together.

I do like to be...

On a lovely day such as this the Gorse Fox finds that infuriating tune "I do like to be beside the seaside" is playing on a permanent loop at the back of his addled mind.

A sortie on the bike took him to Goring and back, before he returned to the garden for some quiet reading.

The Silver Vixen has left to spend the day with her coven. the Gorse Fox is waiting to a) pick Cousteau-cub up from the station, and b) see if his hay fever settles down before deciding on a firm agenda for the day.

Meanwhile, he will continue to struggle with some of the more subtle nuances of creating and handling graphics in Open Office...

Damned

It's mid-morning when the front door bursts open and Urban-cub explodes into the peace and quiet. Urban-cub has always enjoyed her birthday. Today is no exception... it's as if she has been on a cocktail of coffee, Red-bull, and mixed additives.

GF continues to work, despite the background noise.

"Hiya Dad" she yells and charges in to give a hug. "Hard week?" she asks.

"Yes" GF replied

"Well take it easy" she purred "you're no spring chicken, you know!"

Deflated, GF returned to his keyboard. He doesn't need this sort of abuse... he can get that in Worcester!

"Events" are keeping the GF pretty busy this week, and are unlikely to settle for a little while.

However, he's not too busy to wish Urban-cub a very happy birthday.

Still frantically busy... normal service will be resumed asap

Sorry, bit busy. Will catch-up later

It was a long day... the details of which you really don't want to hear.

At the end of the day, however, we met up at The Cardinal's Hat for a refreshing draught before moving down the street to the Thai Gallery for pleasant meal.

Conversation rattled back and forth, but it was clear that we were all weary as it didn't quite sparkle the way it sometimes does.

If it's Tuesday morning it must be Worcester. Gorse Fox notes that he had to have the lights on in the bathroom for the first time in a couple months... the days are beginning to shrink!
(You really wanted to be reminded of that didn't you).

Duh!

Whilst the Gorse Fox was just eating lunch he heard Jeremy Vine discussing the fact that people had difficulty reading maps, and asked the ordnance Survey if this was the end of the map - or were they doing anything to make map reading easier?

GF is sorry, but it's time we stopped catering for the terminally stupid. If someone can't read a simple road map they shouldn't be allowed out without a carer.

Distraction

The FMD incident has proved a distraction - the Gorse Fox's mind keeps wandering from the current budgetary modeling back to the intent of our project. The continual budget stress and inability to make (or standby) decisions is an immense source of frustration.

In comparison to the cost of a major disease outbreak the budget shortfall pales into insignificance (in fact it is about 0.00047%)... but we are now spending time trying to plan round this shortsightfall.

Arnica

The trouble with getting the bikes roadworthy was that the the Gorse Fox was then tempted into using one. Saturday afternoon saw him launch himself on two wheels into the hinterland.


A pleasant ride in the sunshine is a perfect way to enjoy a summer's afternoon. Well, at least it is if you bicycle saddle is not made of concrete and the manufacture has thought to put some springs or dampers at various points of the design.

The other nice thing about being on two wheels is that the sedate pace allows you to looks at the various places you pass and allows easy opportunities to stop for photos. (This thatched cottage is in Rustington).

The Gorse Fox stopped in Rustington to buy some stationery, and then cycled on. He had some time to kill so cycled on towards Littlehampton.


Stopping on the beach for a while he watched the families frolicking in the sea and digging in the sands. Thirty or forty yachts were clearly visible in the bay - it was an archetypal British seaside scene.

The beach was fairly busy (though this is not apparent from the photo). Twenty minutes later GF was back on the bike and cycling on.



Littlehampton was heaving. There were people everywhere - making use of the beaches, the crazy-golf, the boating lakes, the gardens, and the amusement centre. Others were fishing off the harbour wall, though it was not clear that anyone had caught anything significant.

Dragging himself away, GF headed back, with a brief stop to see Angus. When he got home he had cycled about 10 miles (which Mark would probably consider a warm-up). He had also realised that there is a potential market for arnica-impregnated underwear. The small concrete saddle (about 8 inches long by 1 inch wide) had caused immense discomfort in places the Gorse Fox cares not to reveal. Suffice it to say he has achieved a very creditable John Wayne walk since returning.

Media interference

So the media is loving the FMD story. They have even done some research... and pointed out that the virus can be spread by airborne transmission (indeed an outbreak in the Isle of Wight several years ago was caused by an aerosol plume from France).

So just to gee things along the BBC have had a helicopter hovering over the site taking footage of the infected farm. This is obviously a special kind of helicopter that does cause air turbulence. Cretins.

Staying Informed

If you are interested in the FMD outbreak, GF refers you to the following:

• Defra information about FMD
• World Organisation for Animal Health - Foot and Mouth Disease
  
• Warmwell - an independent site that monitors and reports on issues faced by UK Farms
• ProMed - Alerts from the International Society for Infectious Diseases(*)
  

The World Organisation for Animal Health tells us about the disease:

Transmission

• Direct or indirect contact (droplets)
• Animate vectors (humans, etc.)
• Inanimate vectors (vehicles, implements)
• Airborne, especially temperate zones (up to 60 km overland and 300 km by sea)

Sources of virus

• Incubating and clinically affected animals
• Breath, saliva, faeces, and urine; milk and semen (up to 4 days before clinical signs)
• Meat and by-products in which pH has remained above 6.0
• Carriers: particularly cattle and water buffalo; convalescent animals and exposed vaccinates (virus persists in the oropharynx for up to 30 months in cattle or longer in buffalo, 9 months in sheep). African Cape buffalo are the major maintenance host of SAT serotypes

(*)Who'd have thought that Infectious Diseases had their own Society?

What a nice man

GF was faced with the bicycle. Having got it ready for action last weekend - C-c's mid-week attempt (with the aid of the Silver Vixen and a passing gardener) to pimp her ride left the machine unusable.

First it was examine in situ, but GF needed more light and elbow room.
Then it was removed to the deck where it could be worked on... but GF could not find the right sized wrench.
So it was unceremoniously stuffed in the back of the Golf and taken along to a very nice man, called Stuart, at Halfords.

Stuart abandoned his desk... looked at the problem, grabbed a spanner and fixed the bike. What a nice man. (GF obviously rewarded him handsomely).

Communications

The Gorse Fox read with interest one criticism that farmers would not know of the ban on livestock movements "unless they happened to see the news".

"Pardon?"

What does the author expect? A personal visit to every farm in the country? The information is all over the radio, the TV and the internet. If farmers are ill-informed it is because they have chosen to be.

(When the new system is complete - if budget constraints ever get sorted out - it would be possible to email and even fax every farm, where they have provided email addresses or fax numbers)

FMD

So the suspect case at the Surrey Farm has been confirmed as a case of Foot and Mouth Disease. Movement restrictions have been put in place to try and control the infection and obviously the herd in question will be culled.

Let's hope this was spotted early enough and that there has been no transmission beyond the farm.

Reading the National Audit Office report on the lessons to be learned from the 2001 outbreak, we can only hope that the speed of response has been adequate (you can only start to respond once you are aware of the problem).

Working on the periphery of this, it seems a shame that the budgets to provide new support systems for such outbreaks are currently threatened.

DoA

GF ordered a new memory card for his camera. It finally turned up this morning... and looks as if it's DoA. GF tried it in his camera - "Memory card Error" flashed up.
"Probably needs formatting" he thinks.
Plugs memory card in PC... nada. PC couldn't see it.
Plugs memory card into laptop... nada again. Laptop couldn't see it.

Tries to email supplier - email address bounces (might have helped if GF had typed the address correctly). Time to talk to Mr Amazon, he thinks.

Stuff

It's been a gorgeous summer's day here in Sussex. Unfortunately, the Gorse Fox is still tied to his keyboard trying to predict the future based on the past and some "science" that he is developing to justify the predictions.

The Don is back from touring western Canada, and the Abbott is just heading off to Cuba to convert the natives.

GF is looking forward to a break... but after everyone else is back, when they have settled back in and forgotten they've ever been away. It always seems better that way!

Aaargh

Gorse Fox has just returned to his hotel. Beneath his room is a function room. Tonight, the function room is being used for an 18th Birthday Party until 01:00am... the whole room is shaking. GF suspect he may not be getting a full night's sleep

Not a lot to report... a Design Meeting that finished in 30 minutes... thus saving one hour of GF's life; hours spent unravelling spreadsheets; a meeting looking to decide the approach for the next Board...
Nothing special, but very successful.

GF hears that C-c has been trying her hand at bicycle mechanics - sounds like a visit to Halfords is on the cards for Saturday!