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Monday, January 18, 2010

Stupid Pills

Have just received the following in an email from Old Father Time - not sure of the original author, but acknowledgements to whoever compiled this originall:

IDIOT SIGHTING #1
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a  twenty pence piece.
She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.  I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change.
Lesson: Do not confuse the clerks at MacD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING #2
We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR  made at  that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two..'
We haven't used Garador repair since. Happened in Moor Park, Nr Watford UK
IDIOT SIGHTING #3
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Department to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
Story from Potters Bar , Herts, UK
IDIOT SIGHTING #4
My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From South Oxhey Herts , UK
IDIOT SIGHTING #5
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, That's why we ask..'
Happened Luton Airport ... UK

IDIOT SIGHTING #6
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged colleague.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a Local County Council employee in Harrow , Middlesex , UK
IDIOT SIGHTING #7
When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the  service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers  side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans, Hertfordshire UK
STAY ALERT!

 They walk among us... and the scary part is that is they have the RIGHT TO VOTE! (The Gorse Fox would guess that's exactly how we got our current Government)

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