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Sunday, April 06, 2008

Civil Service - A Further Glossary

The Gorse Fox has just received a paper from "the office" which finishes off with some class ic definitions of Civil Service speak, (as first espoused by "Yes, Minister"):
  1. "A few thoughts..." meaning:
    "Thank you for showing me this. It is utter rubbish for the following reasons..."
  2. "You will wish to be aware" meaning
    "No you won't, it's really bad news."
  3. "Please deal with as you consider appropriate." meaning
    "Bin it, but don't blame me if you get found out."
  4. "Seeking your agreement." meaning
    "We've already started doing this. If you have any concerns, no-one wants to hear them."
  5. "You may wish to consider..." meaning
    "Just get on with it."
  6. "Hope this is helpful" meaning
    "I'm well aware it's not helpful at all. Please don't contact me again."
  7. "In due course." meaning
    "Probably never."
  8. "Thank you for bringing this to my attention." meaning
    "I hoped nobody was going to mention this."
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