The Glories of Summer Holidays

The venerable Clarkson waxes lyrical on the subject of holidays in the sun (Not!):

My wife disagrees with this. She will happily spend an hour smearing buttery sand into a child and then another hour rubbing herself down with what, so far as I can tell, is cooking fat. And no, I won’t rub it on your back.

Afterwards, she goes to the beach and, using celestial alignment, organises a sun lounger so that she need not move all day. And she doesn’t. She just lies there, like a roast potato, basting. The effect, though, I must say, is stunning. In just two weeks she changes from a dark-haired beauty into a leatherback turtle.

GF commends it to you as an amusing read.

[File under: Summer]